Dear Charles - Suck On This

Dear Charles,

As someone who taught Queensbridge Ward a few lessons to someone who formerly taught Queensbridge Ward a few lessons, I read your latest thoughts in The Guardian, I am now retreating to a darkened room to laugh very, very, very loudly at the fact that yet another Minister I had no time for has decided to go completely off the rails after being sacked by the very wonderful and completely sane Tony. Hopefully the PM will remind you of François Rabelais' appropriate remark: "The belly has no ears, nor is it to be filled with fair words".

Being an old fashioned type I can't agree with Jack Straw's suggestion that MPs will get a vote on replacing Trident - MPs get 'veto' over new Trident.

When did all this nonsense start? Tony didn't even tell MPs he was planning with George to invade Iraq, let alone consult MPs - and he only informed the House of his intentions two days before the attack. Whilst we don't have a formal separation of powers in this country we do have different roles for Parliament and the Government - though some people are members of both bodies and at least one person ignores both.

The Government - as ministers of the "Crown" - are there to take non-legislative, executive decisions like whether to spend weekends playing "cowboys" or enjoying a good game of croquet, whether to award gongs to Indian curry moghuls or whether to carpet bomb women and children.

We can't have MPs and ex-Ministers involving themselves in decisions on matters of national security, especially former Home Secretaries.

We seem to be drifting into an era of phoney "national debates" and "consultation" on key issues where what we ought to have is one clear finger on the button.


Tony's impending absence on holiday and his replacement by Five Shags offers an intriguing possibility to solve two problems with one national security digit. We need to test the new Trident missiles... and I never was too fond of Norwich.