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Friday, August 18, 2006

No Laughs At The Palace

When I'm PM I'll teach her to laughI've waited years for an invitation like this and eventually it came.

This afternoon I was summoned to the Palace to meet Her Majesty.

It was a golden opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, as the Queen's prerogative of impalement applies within Buckingham Palace grounds.

So I was able to present the monarch with the shrunken head of my pale imitator on a stick and test out the ridiculous proposition that everyone laughs at me.

As you can see, Her Majesty was not amused.


Arbuthnot Strebe-Griebling said...

Good on you, old bean. OFF WITH HIS HEAD, I say!

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

My dearest Luke,

May I be among the first to congratulate you on this wonderful honour.

I know how fond you are of Sweden and the Skåne way of dealing with political dissidence and disloyalty. So how appropriate that you should have chosen impalement for your spoofster or pale imitator. Perhaps some of your loyal readers are unaware that impalement was used in Sweden, particularly as a death penalty for members of the resistance in the former Danish province Terra Scania, where the stake was inserted between the spine and the skin of the victim. In that way, it could take four to five days before the victim died. As Chief Whip and promoter of Northrop Grumman, GKN Westland and Textron Systems, you must find this a delightful and useful practice.

I, too, find it preposterous that anyone could laugh at you or find you a source of amusement. Just look at the serious way in which you treat those who feel disaffected within the Borough. I hear that you issue them with bus maps and the locations of parks on the other side of the borough, so they too can appreciate the finer aspects of Hackney life. Not quite sure how they'd cope, carrying a laptop, double buggy and manual wheelchair, but they always have to look on the bad side, don't they? I think it is so rude of them to accuse you of being smug; a tad priggish, perhaps, but never smug!

Keep up the excellent work,

Yours earnestly (just like you!),