Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign
Fighting threats from Stalinists and Fascists to use court injunctions and physical violence to silence free speech
The working class can kiss my arse, I've got the Councillor's job at last
The Luke Akehurst blog - The genuine Luke Akehurst weblog about politics, elections, the Labour Party and that ghastly Hackney place. Ignore counterfeit Luke Akehurst blogs - this is the genuine article from the chap who whips Hackney Labour councillors in his spare time.
Now with extra added ingredient Linda K Smith. Helps wash your family whiter!

"My favourite film is Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learnt To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb" - Luke Akehurst
"Funny and clever but not particularly nice" - Time Out
"With added foie gras, steak, soft cheese, claret and port (hic!)" - Luke Akehurst
"In gustatus perquam putidus est" - Vatican Bank
"Not so much 'Who's Who?' as 'Who's Sleeping With Whom?'" - Peter Mandelson
"You can judge a blogger's politics by the colour of their blog banner" - The spoof Luke Akehurst
"By a coalition of Trots, tree huggers, anarchists, Tories and a nasty little clique over-excited about my hair colour" - Luke Akehurst

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Right-Minded People Don't Read 'The Groveller'

Time to withdraw Council advertising from this lying ragClapton Trotskyist and tree-hugging rabble-rouser Paul Hodge is at it again. Writing in today's edition of "The Groveller" he expresses his shock at the fact that my colleague, Dalston Councillor and virtuoso rickshaw rider Nargis Khan, recently admitted: "I don't read the Hackney Groveller".

I say "well done" Nargis! The "Groveller" gained its name as a result of tough, independent, investigative journalism in Hackney, but recently it has started to wobble a bit.

Today's issue, for instance, continues to spread malicious and utterly false stories about an all-out media war between two of my Labour Councillors, the pro-Palestinian Angus Mulready-Jones and pro-Israeli Linda Kelly. To make matters worse, it prints a letter from a 52-year-old Greek biddy who, in response to the question: "How do you think Tony Blair will be remembered?" responds: "For pretending to be Labour when really he's been the most Conservative politician we've had for the last 100 years."

If that wasn't bad enough, "Groveller" Editor Ferris Bueller recently published snivelling little pieces about Clissold Leisure Centre from Marxist agitator John Field and failed Tory council/mayoral candidate Andrew Boff, bemoaning "incompetence" and "failed promises" and blaming everything on Julian.

Right thinking people toss aside "The Groveller" (perhaps it should be renamed "The Hackney Tree Hugger"?) and focus their attention on "Hackney Grain Harvest Today". This truly independent and courageous free newspaper, delivered to every home in the borough at only a trifling cost to each Council Tax payer, contains my kind of article. Some examples from the current edition - "Jules Pipe 1, Nike 0", "Jules Pipe Opens Thousands Of New Public Toilets", "Jules Pipe Leads Family Fun Day On West Reservoir" and "J Is For 'Julian'". The "Hackney Toady", as it is affectionately known in Stokie, is a shining example to us all.

Biographical footnote

Councillor Nargis Khan, 33, aspires to become Britain's first Muslim woman MP (click and play audio/slide show #3 on the right). She was recently appointed to serve as a member of The Commission On Making Muslims Just Like Us. Councillor Khan is currently employed as a political researcher by my fellow member of Labour Friends of Israel Lord Young. This is an exciting new role which should greatly aid Councillor Khan's career aspirations.


Ferris Bueller said...

There is no truth in this nonsense about Labour Councillors not reading The Groveller. After all, many members of the Labour Group stay up all night penning letters to the paper and commentary columns.

I suspect that you are being very insensitive. If Councillor Khan says she does not read the paper, this may be because she has reading difficulties. Perhaps you should offer help rather than attack the poor woman with second-rate satire.

Anonymous said...

Do you mean second rate attire?