Found: A Thinking New Labourist

On my spoofster's website you can read the indignant chunterings of my stalker and his band of Manchester student groupies as they protest that the 1983 General Election defeat was due to the malign influence of the Hard Left under Michael Foot. What a load of old cobblers. On planet zog where these people live there never was a Social Democratic Party/ Liberal Alliance polling 7.8 million votes and letting Thatcher in by splitting the opposition vote.

The reality is, of course, that Foot couldn't even manage to be an effective malign influence in his own household, or on Hampstead Heath for that matter. If you want to find the villains of the piece you need look no further than scheming Liberals and Labour traitors crossing the floor to join them. Just like Hackney Council a decade later. Much as I hate the loony lefties, it's the Social Democrats who are the biggest enemies of social democracy.

Hard as it may be to find anyone who can think straight, I have now started believing in miracles.

I have discovered that the newspaper that normally publishes my letters has today begun publication of the diaries of someone from Tony's leg-over brigade who has actually engaged their brain cells after moving on from the political paradigm of The Cabinet. I won't spoil your enjoyment by identifying the polemicist or by quoting from his memoirs here.

For those of you who can't read, or prefer comic books to a serious paper, there's a Channel 4 "Dispatches" special coming up on Thursday night. What I will say is that this is someone for whom I have often expressed admiration, especially over his steadfast stand in support of ASBOs. I can't wait to discover what intelligent political commentary is about to be unleashed.