Gordon And John Must Stand Firm

According to news breaking in The Daily Telegraph this morning, a combination of scheming Tories and the enemy within (we all know who the Labour Party traitors are) have managed to convince the compliant but somewhat dim Metropolitan Police Commissioner Blair to use the most senior and respected members of the cabinet to shaft his namesake, The Great Leader.

Hell will freeze over before I believe a word published in The Torygraph, so I take the news that Gordon Brown and John Prescott are shortly to be questioned as witnesses and that Tony Blair may be "questioned by detectives within weeks, possibly under caution, becoming the first serving Prime Minister since Lloyd George to be interviewed in an honours-for-sale investigation" with a large pinch of salt.

Quite frankly, how dare they! How very dare they! Don't they know that our wonderful Prime Minister pays their salaries? Have they forgotten that, without Tony, this country would now be swamped with terrorists planning to set of bombs in tunnels under the Thames?

How dare they treat Labour as if it was the Tories.

When we engage in a bit of financial creativity and subsequently reward our supporters appropriately for their contribution, that is for the good of the British people.

When Tories engage in financial creativity, it is for their own personal greed. Everyone needs to understand this fundamental difference and support the Labour Government at this time of need.

Financial contributions to the Fighting Fund should be sent to Luke Akehurst, c/o The Labour Party, 18 Abney Park Court, London N16 7HF, clearly marked "Blairballs".

Stop Press: A few minutes ago the BBC announced that the police have already contacted Gordon to make arrangements for his interview. Is it just me, or is it feeling a bit chilly this morning?

Breaking News: Alan Milburn has been questioned by police over cash-for-honours.