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Saturday, December 30, 2006

Arise, Sir Dodgy

Scarlett was my favourite colour ever since Vivien Leigh
Amongst the nonsense awards - the English centagenarian school dinner ladies, the Irish X-factor rejects, the Scottish serial paedophiles - one gem shines out. The man whose dossier supported The Great Leader and our glorious Party when the Tory/Trotskist rabble was baying for blood. It makes me feel proud to be an Englishman.


iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

My dearest Luke,

It's not for me to interfere in your domestic life but you might feel inclined, at some point, to mention to your partner just what she missed out on by failing to support the Dalston development when we put her on the planning sub-committee. Not only has she forgone any chance of obtaining a Spanish holiday home, in return for nodding through the Dalston Theatre demolishment and Pipe Towers development; she has no chance getting any of the gongs they are giving out to boot. Check out who got an OBE in this year's honours list!

Ms Sue Foster. Assistant director, Regeneration and Planning, London borough of Hackney. For services to planning. (London, E8)

Naturally, Julian and Penny are a bit miffed and so, I hear, the next issue of Hackney Toady will devote only two pages to Ms Foster's achievements. Trouble is ... apart from slavishly nodding through the developers' plans, annoying the tree-huggers (and divesting us of a potential historical liability) we haven't the foggiest what to write about her. Any ideas?

Yours affectionately,


Luke Akehurst said...

Blimey - I thought for a minute there you were crediting Linda with some contribution to the you-know-what. I'm afraid that the closest Linda came to sexing up a dossier was handling Dobbo's testimonials and as far as I recall it didn't even make him smile.

So, I was proved right and there was no chance of Julian or Penny receiving gongs. I'm afraid they've both appeared in one too many blog postings for herself to consider an honour within the bounds of decency.

I guess Sue is a surrogate recipient. As you know already, she has a near-zero web footprint, which makes her the perfect representative of New Labour government. After all... arise Sir John Prescott. Somehow you just can't imagine it, can you?