Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign
Fighting threats from Stalinists and Fascists to use court injunctions and physical violence to silence free speech
The working class can kiss my arse, I've got the Councillor's job at last
The Luke Akehurst blog - The genuine Luke Akehurst weblog about politics, elections, the Labour Party and that ghastly Hackney place. Ignore counterfeit Luke Akehurst blogs - this is the genuine article from the chap who whips Hackney Labour councillors in his spare time.
Now with extra added ingredient Linda K Smith. Helps wash your family whiter!

"My favourite film is Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learnt To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb" - Luke Akehurst
"Funny and clever but not particularly nice" - Time Out
"With added foie gras, steak, soft cheese, claret and port (hic!)" - Luke Akehurst
"In gustatus perquam putidus est" - Vatican Bank
"Not so much 'Who's Who?' as 'Who's Sleeping With Whom?'" - Peter Mandelson
"You can judge a blogger's politics by the colour of their blog banner" - The spoof Luke Akehurst
"By a coalition of Trots, tree huggers, anarchists, Tories and a nasty little clique over-excited about my hair colour" - Luke Akehurst

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Clissold Pool - Some Minor Problems

A symbol of Hackney's success - almost completedBloody typical!

At a time when everyone should be celebrating our sporting successes in rugger and cricket, and with the BBC Sports Personality of the Year on TV this evening, the bloody swimmers are at it again with this piece of malicious nonsense: "If Only Hackney Hadn't Been A Negligent Client".

These chlorine-sniffing posers seem to think that we knew something about the problems of Clissold Pool months ago when, had we so chosen, we could have done something about it.

Let me make clear that none of us knew anything about design and build faults until relatively recently.

It was only in mid-2003 that councillors first saw a schedule of defects and we've all been a bit busy since then. In any case, I'm sure most of the faults have been fixed by now and some of them are probably the same thing written down twice anyway.

Additional loudspeakers to be installed
AHU fresh air inlets not functioning correctly
Alarm warbling unacceptable
Balustrades to glazing - base plates and guard rail missing
Basement corridor floor tiles showing water damage
Basketball hoops broken
Battery discharge test certificates to be submitted
BMS and fire alarm system software missing
BMS still to be commissioned
BMS, power, fire alarm, lifts, PA and CCTV systems training outstanding
Boiler combustion tests to be completed and certificated
Boiler room works incomplete
Booster pump and cold water storage controls failure resulting in basement flooding
Building management system documentation and manuals incomplete
Bypass to fault light unacceptable
Carpets, curtains and upholstery certifications to be provided
Changing room internal drains unable to cope with drainage demand
Corrosion evident in floating floor joints/fixings
CV AHU compressors trip on high limit/fault
CV room cooling not working and room excessively hot
Dangerously large gaps between balustrades to rear protected stairs
Disabled access provision inadequate
Disabled WC grab rails incomplete
Drain pipes located in wall
Evidence of fire having occurred in electrical panel
Exit barriers incomplete
Exit signage incomplete
Exit/MoE doors have key locks in breach of fire regulations
External signage to SNS not installed
Fire alarm strategy wording to be changed
Fire alarm system re-testing required for certification
Fire panel key switch extension incomplete
Fire shutters to Sports Hall to be tested
Fireman's override switch required
Flooding in boiler plant rooms
Foyer area floor tiles showing extensive breakage and cracking to joints
Full test of fire alarm system required
Gas boiler repair needed
Glazed ceiling/sky lights show signs of water ingress from the roof
Grouting come away from floor tiles outside changing rooms
Handheld fire appliance certificates to be provided
Health suite drainage unsatisfactory
Heavy internal/external condensation resulting in damage to fitness suite ceiling
Hot water return flow not indicating any hot water returning
Hot water secondary supply takes too long to reach outlets
Hot water system needs checking for safety
Inadequate ventilation to basement plant room
Incomplete/inadequate silicon jointing on roof
Internal M&E plant requires re-testing due to high volume of alterations
Lane rope sockets to main pool incorrectly positioned
Leak detected above training pool filters
Leak in sports hall roof
Legionella risk assessment unsatisfactory due to defaults in maintenance activities
Locks to partitions between changing rooms incomplete
Main pool comfort cooling switch incomplete
Manuals, drawings, fire test schedules and building certificates incomplete
Metal capping on walls missing or loose
Metal capping plates missing from fire exit training pool and rear wall
Microcache door locks incomplete
Ozone plant room extract system not working
Pigeon netting missing in some areas
Pool hall lighting not to spec
Pool surround sockets grouted in
Rasty report to be submitted to Fire Officer
Rasty test report to be issued
Remedial works and door strengthening works to SNS foyer incomplete
Remedial works and door strengthening works to technology rooms incomplete
Rotary doors failsafe mechanism to be tested
Screen missing from changing village works resulting in flooding
Shower and changing room drainage inadequate
Smoke extract fan excessively noisy
Soft start to emergency generator to be signed off
Spa water health risk questioned
Sports hall doors require repair
Sports hall flooded
Sports hall roof windows showing signs of leakage
Spray heads on taps generate fine droplets due to pressure
Stainless steel door/sign/support fittings in pool hall areas showing signs of rust
Temperature of hot water secondary supply variable from cold to hot
Testing of emergency light incomplete
Training pool clock not functioning
Training pool WC showing signs of leakage
U-bar handrail required for Sports Hall bleacher spectator seating
Up-to-date electrical certificate required
Up-to-date emergency lighting certificate required
Up-to-date generator certificate required
Wall tiles falling off walls to some changing rooms
Water supply to Health Suite fountain not functioning
Water temperature at shower outlets variable beyond acceptable tolerance
Wheelchair exit from poolside areas unacceptable
Window and louvre snoke actuators to be tested

I mean to say, these things are very minor problems - the sort of thing a small gang of Polish builders and plumbers could sort out in no time.

6 comments:

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

My dear Luke,

Those items on the above list which were not already designated "myths" have been allocated as the duty of the Joint Working Party. So, yet again, She Who Must Be Obeyed has washed away any responsibility from the hands of Hackney Council's Leisure & Carelessness Department. Whew! Political aspirants could learn a trick or two from that woman!

Just to be clear, that list was in the public domain under the Freedom of Information Act, wasn't it?

Yours affectionately,

iLikeAkehurstFanClub

Luke Akehurst said...

There you go - I was right all along. Some of the problems were myths and the rest were Misth's (with apologies to anyone with a speech defect).

Luke Akehurst said...

All council documents are in the public domain under the Freedom of Information Act (well, almost all). You just need to write to Penny at the Town Hall and ask. There's nothing to hide or to be ashamed of under our regime.

Anonymous said...

http://www.clissoldleisure.com/info/hallofpain - and we were called ungrateful whingers

Anonymous said...

New fire safety rules affecting all non-domestic premises in England and Wales came into force on 1 October 2006.

A fire risk assessment helps you to identify all the fire risks and hazards in your premises. You can then decide to do something to control them.

Articles Fire Risk Assessments:
1. Fire Types & Fire Extinguishers
2. United Kingdom: Fire Departments
3. New Fire Safety Rules
4. Steps Needed For Fire Risk Assessment
5. Steps Are Needed To Save Lives
6. Fire Safety Engineering
7. Safety Rules: Fire Risk Assessment

Fire Risk Assessments
http://www.fireriskassessment.blogspot.com/

Luke Akehurst said...

I've passed your message on to Julian Pipeshaft, who may be in imminent risk of self-immolation.