Aspects Of Politics That Are Mildly Disconcerting

I think I may be suffering from a profound psychological disorder.

I'm no medical expert, but I think it may be Brownnose Syndrome By Proxy. One minute I'm writing about Gordon and Sarah and their plans to send their baby John to a local school with its very own Fisher-Price Activity Centre... and the next thing I find myself doing is jumping on the bus and taking Augustus to the newly-reopened Bethnal Green Museum of Childhood. Strangely and somewhat disconcertingly, I found myself playing with the children's toys - at least until I was admonished by a security guard asking me precisely when I was anticipating puberty.

Worse still, when I returned home I found myself compulsively switching on the TV to watch CBeebies. I only meant to settle Augustus for a few minutes, but by the time Linda got home I'd somehow managed to take in Bobinogs, The Roly Mo Show, Higgledy House, Pingu, Boogie Beebies, Doodle Do and Underground Ernie. And worst of all... I'd really enjoyed them! It was a bit like watching a TV version of The Guardian.

Politics can be a hard and lonely business, especially for those of us whose political careers aren't brilliantly successful, and I'm afraid it's got to me after all these years. What with moving home recently, the pressure of work lately and the worries that some of my fellow councillors have been giving me, I'm sure this condition has been brought on by stress. I'd like to go to the London Fields lido for a relaxing warm bath, but unfortunately we've had to close the place to save on heating bills. So it will have to be a good dollop of Radox and our Beatty Road plastic bathtub.