Doing Their Bit For Labour

We've never had the support of the press - except of course when the press barons got the idea (correctly or incorrectly) that knighthoods, peerages or the right to control an unhealthy share of the media market would result from their patronage.

But they are not exactly doing their bit for Labour at the moment. Scanning the papers today I see that every single newspaper is carrying stories attacking government policy, mostly on the front page.

What really shocked me, though, is that it's not a case of press collusion to back each other up in these attacks. Every single paper is attacking the government on an entirely different issue. I suspect it's a case of them colluding to avoid accusations of collusion.

The Daily Express - Public anger growing at Gordon Brown's great budget con-trick.

The Financial Times - Stalinist ruthlessness - thank God... someone has said it at last!

The Observer - Tony Blair says Miliband could still succeed him if he challenges Gordon Brown.

The Independent - Resignation threat 'saved' Blair in cash-for-honours scandal.

The Metro - Blair 'haunted' on EU anniversary.

The Mirror - John Reid alienates British youth by banning Snoop Dogg.

The Star - Veils will be banned says Alan Johnson.

The Sun - Cherie Blair in 'Don't you know who I am?' airport special privileges row.

The Telegraph - Mother attacks Department of Health - 'No one cared about me and my baby'.

The Times - Archbishop attacks Government gambling casino policy.

But amongst all the nightmare stories staring up at me from the piles of newsprint in the corner shop came one bright ray of sunshine. So "Hoorah", I say, for The Daily Mail.

The Daily Mail - Prince Harry drunk in gutter at 3a.m.

Not a word about the Labour Government! A great day to bury bad news. I was starting to feel much better. And then I turned the page and spotted it: Lord Cashpoint, the bogus count and his porn star wife.

Oh, s**t!