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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Friday Night And Saturday Night

On Friday night we enjoyed the now traditional Akehurst karaoke birthday party at my favourite Chinese restaurant, Shanghai, in Dalston. It hadn't been a great day, what with the news breaking that an injunction had been served on the BBC over reporting of "cash-for-honours", but it wasn't going to put me off enjoying myself. Unfortunately I followed the Bolly with a little too much red wine and embarrassed myself by singing "Chimes on the Kremlin Clock", "The Red Flag", "The Internationale", "Bandiera Rossa" and "Song of the Soviet Airmen" at the end of the dinner. Mind you, however embarrassing it may have been for me it must have been much worse for the older staff of Shanghai, having escaped from the tyranny of a communist regime to the freedom and liberty of Britain only to find a fat ginger drunkard singing some of Chairman Mao's favourite ditties at the top of his voice while shouting orders for more eel pie and mash (well, I didn't know it was no longer on the menu).

I should have been a professional photographerMy prize-winning photo of something yellowish

By the time I fell out of bed late yesterday morning I had an overwhelming need for fresh air, so I visited Clissold Park to look for signs of the arrival of Spring. If you look very closely at the right-hand photo with a magnifying glass you will see the results of my rather excellent floral photography.

But last night it all started up again. While I was outside taking this photograph of the total eclipse of the moon, that b****y journalist woman Reeta Chakrabarti was blabbing to News at Ten in complete contravention of the injunction imposed quite independently of Number 10 by the Attorney General. With a mouth as big as that of her anarcho-libertarian sister Shami, she stirred the pot once again by telling the world that the police had got their hands on an email between two people by the name of ****** and **** (well, what did you expect, I've never volunteered to undertake prison visiting before and I don't intend to start now!)

It spoilt my birthday weekend. But next week everything will be all sorted. The police will review their information, conclude that it doesn't amount to a hill of beans and drop all the charges. If they don't, we'll make sure the DPP reviews the information, concludes that it doesn't amount to a hill of beans and drops all the charges. And if that doesn't work... well, don't you worry, we'll sort it one way or another. Never mind Ashley Giles - we're the Kings of Spin. We'll get it all sorted and smelling of roses. Just you wait and see if I'm not right.
Eat your heart out, Sir Patrick Moore

4 comments:

Wang Kin (socialist) said...

"I have the pictures of a large part of the Hackney Labour Group doing YMCA by the Village People, but don't feel it would be fair to my readers (or good for the dignity of the people involved) to share them on the worldwide web."

Does that include Sally, the Mother Superior, and Guy, the Inebriate?

I'd pay good money to see those two at it!

Luke Akehurst said...

Eh? Where did that quote come from? It's not on my website. If you have this photo I'd like to see it.

Wang Kin (socialist) said...

Oops, sorry, it was on your spoofster's site so, obviously, no actual picture would exist. Still, the thought of Sally and Guy doing YMCA makes me titter!

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