I'm Emigrating

Well, you can hardly blame me. Why would I want to stay here and read the miserable news for Labour (and even worse news for Gordon) in the ICM/Guardian March Poll, when I could live down under and read the great news for Australian Labor in the Federal Newspoll instead?

I'm looking forward to a new life in a country where the Labor Party leader Kevin Rudd has a thumping 61%-39% lead over Liberal/National Coalition leader and Prime Minister John Howard.

In November this year the conservatives will be swept from power, heralding a new era of Labor rule in Australia. The new government will deliver unity and purpose for the future. Life will be just like this wonderful day in 1997.

Actually, thinking about it, there are some other similarities.

Back in 1997, Labour was facing an entrenched conservative government aiming for a fourth term. Howard leads an entrenched conservative government aiming for a fifth term. Following several failed attempts to mount a challenge, largely due to self-inflicted political wounds, Rudd ousted Beazley in a surprise move to become the new Labor leader. Tony, of course, manoeuvred himself through secret alliances to seize the leadership after the death of John Smith.

So it'll be like Groundhog Day. Everything will come back around.

As a member of Australian Labor I will see my party swept into power with a massive majority. Then we'll quietly drop the anti-war rhetoric we used against Howard and his Iraq misadventures to secure our victory and we'll start our own war. Maybe Iran, or perhaps North Korea.

After that we'll privatise any remaining public services, impose increased fees on Australian students, reduce welfare payments, introduce a "Human Services Access Card"...

And then, one day, I'll wake up to read the latest Federal Newspoll telling me that Labor is 10 points behind the Liberal/National Coalition and - even worse - 15 points behind if Labor Leader designate Luke Akehurst takes over from the disgraced Kevin Rudd.

OMG! Linda. Start unpacking again.