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Friday, March 02, 2007

OMG, The Roof Is Falling In!

With just less than 60 days to go before The Great Leader has achieved The Great Goal of 10 years in office - and on my birthday of all days - it seems tonight that the roof is falling in on Tony. This is a time when everyone must rally round to defend Queen, Country and Party.

Somebody's roof somewhere falling in (allegedly)I don't know what's going on, but it's big enough to scare the hell out of Iain Dale and Paul Staines. Both report that an incriminating email has been uncovered by the police investigation into cash for honours and that Lord Goldsmith obtained an injunction against the BBC tonight after a two-hour hearing at the Royal Courts of Justice.

Other websites normally guarded in their comments - including the BBC - are flooding the ether with anti-Blair postings. This picture of Tony making an obscene gesture while an undergraduate at Oxford is everywhere. Tony's former rock band, Ugly Rumours, are reported to be about to release an anti-war song aimed at the PM.

Photographs of Ruth Turner and Lord Levy are appearing alongside articles about the injunction on web pages, only to be pulled within hours, presumably on legal advice. Those who are a bit cleverer at dropping hints have filed their stories using these names as labels (one each for Iain Dale and Paul Staines). I wouldn't publish any such photos, labels or other hints, of course, as I have absolutely no idea what the connection might be between these worthy people and the injunction.

This is a time for us all to pull together. If we stand firm, we will overcome these temporary and minor problems for the Party. Labour will be great again. We will have a new leader. We will win the next election and be returned for a fourth glorious term by the British people. The chaps who booed and jeered Tony's name on Radio 4 tonight were all Conservatives and LibDems, shipped into the studio as part of the BBC's campaign against the government.

It's all going to be OK. I'm going to open another bottle of Bollinger. OMG. HELP.

3 comments:

Andy Philkins said...

Look on the bright side. At least it buries bad news about Al Fayed and the Diana inquest. Maybe Prince Philip and MI6 will make Tony into a sacrifice, to keep themselves out of the headlines. What worthier way to go?

Wang Kin (socialist) said...

That is not an obscene gesture. It is the real thing, i.e. Tony holding his penis. It's just so small, you can't actually see it. That's why he entered politics.

What will be your reason, if you ever get the chance and enter politics (discounting Hackney, of course)?

Luke Akehurst said...

For someone with such a small weapon, he managed to father enough children, or are you suggesting...?

I'm planning to "enter politics" as you put it by showing the good people of Walthamstow what it's like to have an MP who's not an old socialist fossil.

I intend to teach old dogs new tricks. Once the date is announced I will be out of the traps like a shot. As the number 1 candidate, I intend to "chase the rabbit" and beat the other contenders out of sight. You can bet on me winning, even though I'm an outsider with the bookies. But they won't muzzle me!

That's enough Walthamstow jokes - Ed.