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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Penny Wields Her Chopper

I must confess that I was not altogether disappointed to read in The Lawyer that, on his return from secondment to the Olympic Five Boroughs Programme, Meiaeiuchhk Gullivers-Travels has been axed by Penny Thompson from his £102,717 job as Arms-Length Head of Legal Services and Internal Monitoring Officer "as part of a management shake-up". Under the terms of his Compromise Agreement, Myyaaiieeekhhh's sacking is henceforth to be referred to as "retirement".

Miyaeeioaekhh was not slow to step forward with new ideas (and a few dismissals of legal staff) and to insist that Hackney's act was seen as being whiter than white. Penny's friend Amanda Kelly, who has been standing in for Maaiuaoeechhhk during his absence, now takes on the role permanently (or at least until the next shake-up).

Although replacing the lowest paid of Hackney's "Mile High Salary Club" while his back is turned is not exactly the nicest thing to do, I suspect that it will all work out for the best in the end.

Maieouk Gullivers-Travels


If my recent nightmare were to come true, one wouldn't want to be in the position of Internal Monitoring Officer. Maaieieieaaooehccc is such a nice chap - it wouldn't be fair if he had to carry the can for things beyond his control and thereby lost his generous golden handshake.


angel thighs said...

I heard that poor old M.G-T got the push because he "wasn't one of us". One character said he had halitosis, another accused him of suffering from veracity and a third said he didn't fit in because he wasn't a "wet face". I'm none the wiser. Which is worse when working under Penny?

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

How right you are. M G-T was rightly sacked for throwing Hackney Council into disrepute. On Valentine's Day he did a very unloving thing. He issued a press release in which he virtually 'fessed up about the involvement of certain councillors - who were sitting on Hackney's Planning Sub-committee and deciding on the future of the Dalston Theatre site - whilst alledgedly enjoying the hospitality of Barratts (in the guise of Transport for London) and with the prospect of Spanish holiday accommodation in the not-too-distant future. Sullivan-Gould admitted: "that such involvement ... carries the risk that decision makers will be found to have breached the rules of natural justice".

Sullivan-Gould said, “Planning decisions are being challenged increasingly through judicial review proceedings. There are allegations that councillors are biased because of some prior involvement with one or other of the interested parties or have made some statement which shows that they have made up their minds on an application before hearing all the evidence. Councillors could also be accused of having breached their Council’s Code of Conduct by incurring disrepute through apparent bias.”

Breached the rules of natural justice?
Councillors biased?
Made up their minds on an application before hearing all the evidence?

Christ! Who was paying for this man's wages? We were!
Never mind sacked, he should have been taken out and crucified v e r y s l o w l y ! ! !

Yours affectionately,


Elroy Partington-Whistler said...

This will be the business with CABE and Councillor Parker to which one is referring. But wasn't Meeiaaack Gullivers-Travels appointed to lead the internal enquiry into such impropriety?

Elise Cordwainer said...

Excuse my ignorance, but I only recently moved into Hackney and I haven't been involved in Hackney politics before so a lot of this goes over my head.

Is all this nightmare stuff somehow connected to something I found recently on the Council website? I refer to a letter from Tony Redmond of The Commission for Local Administration in England to Penny Thompson, Hackney CEO, in which he refers to "...the Council's significant and widely reported problems with its housing benefits service...".

My nose tells me that I may possibly be in the right sort of area here. Am I correct?

angel thighs said...

Great new picture. But it's funny that! You saying that some think you look like your late, great hero Peter Sellers. By coincidence your spoofster (who is more ridiculous but not as funny) thinks so too. In fact, he puts Dr Strangelove as being his number one favourite movie. Is that, by chance, how you got the moniker "Luke the Nuke"?

Alexandrina Victoria von Wettin, née Hanover said...

What is angel thighs talking about? The only reference to "wet face" I can find is here.

Clear Hardly said...

It is curious that what had not occurred to Darren “One Man Two Votes” Parker before and during the notorious Dalston demolition planning committee meetings had, apparently, immediately occurred to him afterwards – namely he was employed by Commissions Arriving in Brown Envelopes (CABE) and shouldn’t have voted at all. In a panic Darren ran blubbing to Meic Gullivers-Travels after the meeting and confessed. Of course, Meic, being a thoroughly decent chap, gave Darren a cup of tea, a biscuit and a reassuring pat on the head. Unfortunately it now appears that the Standards Board for England may disagree with Meic’s advice to Darren. And so Penny was understandably pissed off that Meic had let the brake slip on the apple cart and had then overlooked informing Mayor Pipesqueak, when he signed up with Barratts to build Pipe Towers, that Darren, whilst loyal, had been somewhat overenthusiastic. The Pipe Towers project is now looking rather wobbly.

Antonia Fitzwalter said...

I heard exactly the opposite. That MG-T was appointed by the Standards Board for England to investigate Councillor Parker who did not want to assist and certainly did not run blubbing. But during the course of his investigations and in reviewing the earlier SBforE report on housing benefit fraud, MG-T found himself in an impossible position. Wanting to "come clean", he was cleaned out first by Penny who is expecting a gong rather than a visit from the police.

So it sounds like there are a lot of stories out there. Does anyone know the truth? Let us know!

Anonymous said...

Butch weilds her sword Hooray!

Clear Hardly said...

When the Straight Bats for England (SBE) inquisitors asked Hackney to investigate itself Meic couldn’t possibly have agreed to be the judge of whether the advice he’d already given Darren was correct. But instead of sending the brief back to the SBE, he cannily “delegated” it to Hackney’s mates in Haringay Council. Unfortunately the latter don't seem to have understood what’s at stake here. Hence more blubbing on reading their report. Hopefully Penny’s new Head of Legal, Amanda (Meic’s replacement), will be able to save the day if she's the one picked to convince Hackney's Standards Committee that Harringay have turned out to be idiots.
PS Its just malicious gossip that Darren's employment review for promotion within CABE was imminent at that time of his Committe votes. Isn't it??

angel thighs said...

Clear Hardly said . . .

"Its just malicious gossip that Darren's employment review for promotion within CABE was imminent at that time of his Committe votes. Isn't it??"

No. It is true!

Clear Hardly said...

Luke - if Angel Thighs cant keep her mouth shut you'd better get Jules to send Fearless Frank round for a pep talk. He's very persuasive. Otherwise Barratt's are going to be asking for their donations back, not to mention the Spanish villas.