Thursday, June 21, 2007
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Luke Akehurst's Blog |  | Hug my tree and I can be anyone you want me to be |
 Fighting threats from Stalinists and Fascists to use court injunctions and physical violence to silence free speech |  The Luke Akehurst blog - The genuine Luke Akehurst weblog about politics, elections, the Labour Party and that ghastly Hackney place. Ignore counterfeit Luke Akehurst blogs - this is the genuine article from the chap who whips Hackney Labour councillors in his spare time. Now with extra added ingredient Linda K Smith. Helps wash your family whiter! "My favourite film is Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learnt To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb" - Luke Akehurst "Funny and clever but not particularly nice" - Time Out "With added foie gras, steak, soft cheese, claret and port (hic!)" - Luke Akehurst "In gustatus perquam putidus est" - Vatican Bank "Not so much 'Who's Who?' as 'Who's Sleeping With Whom?'" - Peter Mandelson "You can judge a blogger's politics by the colour of their blog banner" - The spoof Luke Akehurst "By a coalition of Trots, tree huggers, anarchists, Tories and a nasty little clique over-excited about my hair colour" - Luke Akehurst | |
Welcome to my blog
"Bloggers like Iain Dale and Guido Fawkes - not to mention Weber Shandwick's very own Luke Akehurst - are building up significant readerships, influencing debate, breaking news and - crucially - making the leap into mainstream media punditry."
— James Warren,
Director, Weber Shandwick
Director, Weber Shandwick
Click on me and I'll enlarge just for you
Or for a more boring way to tickle me:
lukeakehurst@email.com
Hackney MPs' Expenses - see footer
Or for a more boring way to tickle me:
lukeakehurst@email.com
Hackney MPs' Expenses - see footer
The Criminal Justice Bill 2007
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45 Minutes To Save The World
"Don't Mention The WMD!"
Time was running out. Saddam's finger was on the button, Cheney's oil tank was running low and Tony hadn't had a decent drink of blood in months. Would the prophesies of Cherie's life-stylist come true? Was the PM about to relive the past glories of the Knights Templar? Would Alastair Campbell arrive in time to debug the room?
Read the answers to these and other exciting questions in "My Life (And Other Peoples' Deaths)", published by HarperCollins, £24.99.
Read the answers to these and other exciting questions in "My Life (And Other Peoples' Deaths)", published by HarperCollins, £24.99.
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About me
I'm Luke Akehurst..... aka. "Luke The Nuke".Labour Party mouthpiece since 1988 - firmly on the ultra-right wing of the party, but with occasional, completely unexplained lapses of left-wing insanity.
National Secretary of The Barneys Club (Gentlemen's Fine Dining Society, University of Bristol), 1995-6.
Unsuccessful parliamentary candidate for Aldershot (2001) and even more spectacularly unsuccessful candidate for Castle Point (2005). Hackney Councillor (occasional visitor to the peasants in Chatham Ward) and Labour Chief Whip (in charge of the vegetables) since 2002.
Supporter of European holidays, NATO "shock and awe" big fireworks, Israel my Israel, electoral reform as long as The Great Leader keeps getting elected. Guardian reader because they are so desperate for material that they print my letters.
Dad to Jed Augustus George Akehurst (7th October 2005). Stoke Newington resident, recently moved from crappy flat in nice area opposite cemetery to slightly less crappy flat in a noisy shopping area. Amicus union member because they recruit people like me who never did a real day's work in their lives.
Employment history as a Labour Party Organiser for Dobbo the Mule and Glenda Slagg, Local Government Political Assistant to England's worst performing local authority, Public Affairs consultant to The Juggernaut (specialising in advising $multi-billion Iraq war contract beneficiaries, government service outsourcers and property developers).
I'm a pretty great guy as all who know me will confirm (except for those cretinous old Labourites, awful Tories, useless LibDems, bourgeois Greens and everyone else except for Tony's New Labour Army!).
I like influencing outcomes by spreading the good word and smearing those who stand in the way. I'm especially fond of privatising useless old-fashioned industries held back by cloth-capped trade union stooges, liberating public services to the forces of the market and helping US arms manufacturers to look good while making massive profits in Iraq.
I've been trying to get into Parliament for a while without success, but things should improve now I've cut my links to Dobbo and Glenda and been noticed by Tony as one of the smart new "Millbank" set (shame we've become so poor we've had to move out of Millbank!).
I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to afford to move out of ghastly Hackney with its chavs, whingers and loonie lefties and live somewhere decent.
What else can I say about me? I'm a great guy! Did I already mention that? The rest will become evident from reading my blog.
My family coat of arms
Statue competition
Announcing the Sam Lloyd Town Hall Sq. Memorial Competition
It's really simple and you have every chance of winning a great prize! All you have to do is to nominate the man or woman you think would be most worthy to be commemorated with a granite statue located in Town Hall Square.
Rules:
Send your nomination to: "The Sam Lloyd Town Hall Square Memorial Competition", 98 Trotter House, Barratt Lane, Hackney B4 ME
Closing date: 15th November, 2025
It's really simple and you have every chance of winning a great prize! All you have to do is to nominate the man or woman you think would be most worthy to be commemorated with a granite statue located in Town Hall Square.
Rules:
| 1. | Your nominee must have been deceased for at least 10 years |
| 2. | They must have made an outstanding contribution to the Borough |
| 3. | Many current and former Hackney residents must have good cause to remember them |
Closing date: 15th November, 2025
Websites I hate!
My website hits
5 comments:
Luke - I'm confused. When Amanda prepared the "to be agreed facts" before the Inquisition - that Darren did not get legal advice about his breach of the Code of Conduct - was this the legal advice which your spoofster's blog (11.9.06) said Darren did get before the Planning Committee meeting which Darren says he didn't get, or was it the legal advice Meic Gullivers-Travels says Darren got from him immediately after the meeting which Darren says he didnt get, or the advice Darren is now saying he got from Meic long after the meeting which you and Meic didn't say he got. Darren must be one of those clever people whose memory improves with time - but it is confusing.
No wonder you are called Clear Hardly. You could hardly be less clear. Who cares what Baby Parker was or was not told or when? Our team of independent pansies got him off, we sacked Meaigghieeek Gullivers-Travels and I didn't have to make the planned apology and take responsibility. Sod the detail... we won again. It's enough to make me consider converting to Catholicism.
"We deplore the personalised way in which objectors to the scheme have attacked Cllr Parker's role in the process".
I'm not at all clear on this point, Luke. Sounds like a non sequitur. Would you care to elucidate?
Don't start talking Latin to me, just because you went to Eton or some such elevated Tory school. We didn't do modern languages in my minor public school, so I don't know what son nequitor means. What this means, however, is that attacks should not be personal. Blogs writing about Parkergate should have referred to "a collective decision to demolish Dalston" and "collective responsibility for inadequate training in SubCommittee procedures. Naming Councillor Parker and thereby personalising the issue was quite unnecessary.
Luke - mea culpa. It’s clear now that I definitely had a viscous and personalised attack of cynicism when thinking that Darren's job as CABE’s Housing Growth Areas Programme Officer might have had anything to do with giving planning permission for 550 new homes to be built in Dalston. And I suppose that what has “affected his relationship with his employer” was not the embarrassment of Darren’s misguided loyalty and enthusiasm in supporting CABE’s recommendations but the fact that he questioned their views about the colour of the new front doors.
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