Gordon Brown Attempts To Sieze Back Imprudent Lower Band

Millions of British tax payers were left in a state of shock tonight after the Prime Minister attempted to snatch back the 10p lower tax band that he had given to the nation as part of the 1997 General Election manifesto a decade ago, as Chancellor of the Exchequer. This lower tax band, helping the lower paid to ease their way out of the poverty trap, had been seen as the blazing policy torch of Labour's support for the poor until the events of yesterday.

Former cyclist, Bollywood extra and Playboy centrefold refusnik Konnie Huq (কনি হক), who had been carrying the policy torch in order to draw media attention to temporary lack of full-time employment, spoke tonight of her shock at the incident. "My sister Rupa, who is a member of the Labour Party and an ardent supporter of the Government's policies on taxation and the poor, is bound to think this was all an April Fools' Day joke gone wrong after being delayed at Heathrow Terminal 5. But it was no such thing. The withdrawal of the lower tax band was a shock to me and as a result of it my finances have been 'bashed about a bit'."

The incident was recorded by a Chinese Security Service officer who kindly sent the video clip into the BBC in response to a Blue Peter appeal for material for its forthcoming feature 'Politicians Do The Funniest Things'. I've been able to obtain a copy via a mate of mine who works at Broadcasting House, and here it is.