I Apologise To Linda Over "Digital Action" Comment

Sometimes things just don't go right at all, as for our beloved PM at present. But it's been even worse for me today, due to a freak set of circumstances here in Stokie. It all began when I was invited to participate in this event:

I suppose it was my own fault, really. I should never have told Linda that I'd been invited out for a bit of digital action with Hannah. How was I to know that, in her capacity as a member of Hackney Council Planning SubCommittee, Linda had been actively involved in this:

It just didn't occur to me for one minute that Linda would fail to understand that digital means "encoding into 1s and 0s" and assume instead that it mean "using the fingers".

Satchmo's is just two streets south of our house, on Stoke Newington Road. I blame Sir (nearly) Julian Pipeshaft for the confusion. If he hadn't described the location as "Stoke Newington High Road" in his interview with The Groveller, Linda wouldn't have wandered miles up and down looking for the place and would consequently have been in a much better mood when she arrived home and I made my ill-judged comment.

Sorry, babes. I would never visit a place like that with Hannah, or anyone else for that matter. I've never been to a lap dancing club in my life and I have absolutely no idea what goes on in them. Except, of course, that you aren't allowed to use your fingers.