No, It's Not Real

Pay no attention to the false stories whipped up in the Tory media and aimed at damaging Labour's chances in the local elections. This is Eisenstein Appreciation Week and to commemorate the 60th anniversary of his death, various events are taking place across the country.

Teachers are putting on performances at schools across England and Wales and a special re-enactment of Sergei's first feature-length film is taking place at Grangemouth refinery.

Some 700 Maritime and Coastguard Agency staff are also putting on a performance of The Battleship Potemkin and they are expected to be joined later today by about 100,000 workers from the Department for Work and Pension, the Home Office, the Department for Transport, the Driving Standards Agency, and the Highways Agency, all angry over plans for pay rises to be capped below inflation according to the PCS union.

Employees of Metronet, the bankrupt engineering contractor of London Underground, decided not to participate in the celebrations after the Rail Maritime and Transport union said they had received the written assurances needed from TfL over job security. Mayoral candidate Ken Livingstone told the media: "I've been a lifelong Eisenstein fan. But with the election coming up in a few days we need everyone in London to focus on their jobs and not engage in frivolities."

An extended two-day performance by Birmingham City Council workers got off to a bad start after more than three quarters of union members decided that they couldn't act. And MPs also abandoned their much-heralded and eagerly-awaited show scheduled for next Monday, after quite a few poor people were offered some forms to fill in to reclaim their additional income tax levies. But there was good news as GPs gathered for the annual conference of Local Medical Committees in Clydebank - a location ideal as a backdrop for The Battleship Potemkin - and threatened a massive re-enactment based around "the relentless and continuous erosion of the GP contract by tyrannical and greedy Health Service bosses".