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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Word Is Getting Round About The Big Cheese

Since my invitation-that-never-was to a fingers-free evening at Satchmo's, the word has been getting round. It looks like quite a few local hostelries would like the company of the Labour Chief Whip. And it's about bloody time too. I was getting really fed up with Julian getting all the foie gras, fromage and claret while I was left at home to look after Augustus and write inane blog posts about David Aaronovitch, Neil Kinnock and legal imprints. Here's my latest invite:

Dear Luke. The Old Ship would like to invite you to celebrate its transformation into an 'Urban Inn'. Sample some of our new, best of British menu and check out the contemporary and comfortable rooms at our launch event. Join us for canapés and drinks, and to find out how we can work together in the future.

Invitations reserved for local celebrities such as myself
That's my kind of thing. Canapés, drinks and finding out "how we can work together in the future". Know what I mean? Nudge-nudge, wink wink. I've written to ask if they are intending to lay on some lap dancing as part of their plans to become an "urban inn", but no reply yet.

Postscript - Just received this disappointing news:

Dear Luke,

There isn't any lapdancing planned, no. I noticed that you've put the invitation up on your blog, would you mind taking the invitation off, as otherwise half the bloody Councillors will turn up uninvited for the free food and wine - you know what they're like!

Looking forward to meeting you on the [sshhh! secret].

Kind regards
[Mr. X]

No problem - I've removed all the details so uninvited guests (especially certain people from Chatham and Kings Park wards) don't gatecrash and drink all the booze before I arrive.


Chatham Ward Hoody said...

April 30th 6pm. I'll be dher wid ma possy

Luke Akehurst said...

You must have misunderstood. It's not ruffians like you I'm trying to keep out, it's alcoholic piggy Councillors.

Anonymous said...

glad to see they aren't tooooo picky about whom they invite... wouldn't want this do turning up as an election expense.

Luke Akehurst said...

"...whom they invite"? I can see you're not from round here. We don't speak proper English in Hackney like what you does. Not even those of us with a public school education.