Latest From The Clown

Fresh back from the count at Ally Pally to read this latest piece of witicism from the anarcho-fascist Paul Staines, obviously typed into his computer with the left hand while his right one was busy celebrating the Tory victory and decision by his countryman Paddy Power to pay out on Boris win bets.

POSITION VACANT

Our client, a large scale public sector operator, is seeking a new head of operations. Candidates must be able to deal sensitively with an under pressure CEO in a highly stressful environment and willing to be on-call 24-hours a day.

The enterprise is heavily indebted with declining revenue and critical solvency issues that make it an exciting opportunity in the growing area of sub-prime credit risk. The ideal candidate will be expected to personally underwrite any credit risk. Facing increasing competitive threats which have eroded market share from first to third place, the ideal candidate will be able to enthuse a demoralised and disappointed workforce. Job may require occasional liason with law enforcement officers.

The job is suitable for someone with experience of turning around failing organisations. Pay is limited, based in London.

Interested parties should contact Mr G. Brown, Listening Leader of the Labour Party, C/O Downing Street, London SW1.

Well, Staines, the last laugh is on you. My application (typed with both hands) is already in the post. I have all the necessary qualifications for the job and it's just the sort of opportunity I've been waiting for. I can't wait to get started.

My feelings are best summed up in the words of our Mediterranean island sister organisation (apologies for the fact that they can now afford a microphone but they're still saving up to buy a camcorder):