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Saturday, June 24, 2006

All Set For Visit Of British Nudists

Everything's under control for next Wednesday's 7pm. Council meeting, when we are anticipating a visit from Nick Grismold and a party of stormtroopers from his British Nudist Party. Apparently they chose Hackney to launch their summer campaign for the right of decent overweight white folk to expose their upper bodies in public without having to suffer ridicule from the black and asian communities.

Nick Grismold of British Nudist Party
Nick Grismold
Being the excellent strategist that I am, I didn't panic when I found out that the fashion fascists were arriving in Hackney to protest against our decency laws. Oh no. My first thought was to make sure that anarchists, squatters and loonie lefties don't claim the credit for resisting the animals.

The job was not made easy, of course, by the certain knowledge that Pipey will rush off and lock himself in a closet with the nearest female colleague, as usual. But I'm not the King of PR for nothing. They close the wrong day to mess with me and my Council!

Little did Grismold realise that the Hackney Groveller goes to bed on a Monday night and into print on a Wednesday night. This means that I have an entire week to produce photographs of the valient Pipey fighting them off with bottles of Ambre Solaire sun screen and copies of the FIFA Referees' Manual.

I've got a fantastic photo editing suite on my PC that should do the trick. With a bit of luck I can get pictures of Boffie, Penhaligon, Bone and Peters and merge them into the background looking like Grismold supporters.

One-nil to me, I think!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obviously you are an arsehole who hates the labour Party so much you give free publicity to the Nazis. Afre you a Lib Dem? Usually they are the dickheads behind this sort of site. I don't always agree with Luke's politics, but he's not sick in the head like you.

Luke Akehurst said...

You are obviously a bit stupid. I love the Labour Party and the reason I've taken the piss out of the BNP on this one is that I don't want to encourage leftie rabbles to organise demos, occupations and the sort of thing that would make Jules look like he wasn't in control. We can take care of this lot without people like you sticking your nose in.

Anonymous said...

I’ve been trying to get into Parliament for a while now without success, but things should improve now I’ve cut my links to Dobson and Jackson and been noticed by Tony as one of the smart new Millbank set. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be able to afford to move out of ghastly Hackney with its chavs, whingers and loonie lefties and live somewhere decent.

Very funny website

luke akehurst said...

Tim - enjoyed your comment but I think you'll find that everything you mentioned is is already on my blogsite somewhere (see bits about me on the right and earlier posts) and to repeat it would be a bit boring. Thanks anyway