Bastard Sneaks In While I'm On Holiday

As I reported in my recent blog posting, Linda, Augustus and I have popped down to the apartment in Andalucia to get away from Labour Group rebellions and the recent Hackney heatwave. To be frank, we took a look at the massed arrays of plebian flab on display in Clissold Park and thought we would display our own beautiful torsos in more select company. You can imagine our surprise, therefore, when on our visit to Panaderia Borriquito this evening for suckling pig and chips and a bottle or two of Vino de Cómpeta we bumped into no fewer than four other Hackney Councillors and six former members of the Planning Subcommittee. What a coincidence! Obviously it must be our recommendations that have led so many colleagues to select this exquisite holiday resort.

View of the dentist, GP and pizzeria from the internet cafe

After dinner I left Linda to tuck Augustus up for the night while I popped round to the internet café in Calle San Antonio, which is where I am posting from right now. At 4€ per hour it's more expensive than Kinglo in Hackney Road, but the atmosphere is better and you don't get workshy Kurdish teenagers putting their heads round the corner and telling you to dive headfirst into Clissold Pool or to f**k off out of Lebanon.

Anyhow, bloody typically I've only been away for one day and that bastard who operates the so-called spoof site pretending to be me has been posting left right and centre expounding his stupid views on everything from Scouser McDonnell to the wonderful Tony Blair and from Trident to the Middle East via jug-ears Clarke.

I'll have to respond, I suppose, otherwise the thicker members of the Hackney peasantry (and God knows there's enough of them) will think I don't exist and the other bastard is me. So here goes and let's hope I don't run out of euro coins as Rafael doesn't look like he intends to extend my Council expenses account any further.