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"My favourite film is Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learnt To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb" - Luke Akehurst
"Funny and clever but not particularly nice" - Time Out
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"By a coalition of Trots, tree huggers, anarchists, Tories and a nasty little clique over-excited about my hair colour" - Luke Akehurst

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Life's A Gamble

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It's fun to gamble, especially with council tax payers' money!

You already took a pretty big gamble by choosing to live in Hackney. Now here's your chance to have fun with the high-rollers in Hackney's brand new casino leisure complex - the Anschutz-Pipe Ocean Casino - opening in Mare Street soon*.

Have a flutter at "Ethnically-Diverse Jack", under the watchful eye of our senior hostess, Sister Sally. Shoot "Hackney's Craps", a local variant on the famous dice game made popular by our playful host Julian. Learn Secondary School Roulette under the guidance of Leroy and Rita of Tender Loving Care.

Relax in our bar area with a cup of Costa Fortune, a slug of Guy's Absolut Cut or Sharon's Pista-Spritzer and a Cruz Truce toastie. Take a beginner's lesson in Monopoly at the Broadway Investments Hackney stall – one of our ethnic minority sponsors from Nassau, Bahamas. Come to Ocean Casino... you'll be lovin' it!

* "Soon", in the specialist terminology of Hackney Council, means within the next 84 years.

What they said about it:

"Yippe-yah-yea, ride it cowboy!" - John
"Will they let me in?" - Patrick
"Oh Jesus, why do they do these tings?" - Julius
"Sounds like my kinda place, especially if it's dark." - Jamie
"It's all part of the struggle for independence for Oceanistan." - Feryat
"Are there any nice young boys there?" - Michael
"We need to get more Muslim youth involved." - Nargis
"Excellent modern architecture, in a boyish sort of way" - Darren
"Excellent modern architecture, in a goyish sort of way" - Linda

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1 comment:

BloggerComment said...

Ha he ha he, very funny. I liking your blog posting very muchly. Where in hellie is der place Hockney? I am never hearing off it.

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