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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Spoofsters, David Cameron And Outflanking Manoeuvres

Who do you think you're kidding, Mr. Cam'ronReaders will recall the sad fate of David Cameron - hoodie-hugger extraordinaire - who found himself so isolated by our seizure of the Conservatives' right-wing policy platform that he was forced to attack The Grand Old Bliar Party from the left.

We, the stunt has worked again, albeit at the diminutive scale of me and my little army of Manchester Labour students. I've been outrageously right-wing recently, demanding Israeli conquest of Iran, elimination of the Campaign for Labour Party Democracy, smearing of all LibDems, serving of ASBOs on anti-war flyposters, attacks on the policies of several women Labour MPs and mass desertion of the Labour Party if Oona King is re-elected. Now it seems that my spoofster has taken a tactic from David Cameron's Little Book Of Fig-Leaves and tried to outflank me from the left.

Some of his latest outpourings of risible left-wing ranting include: "I'd prefer that there was no role for religion allowed in any school and that faith schools were abolished", "I'd make it compulsory for every independent school to give 50% of their places to a mixed-ability intake from the local neighbourhood (e.g. Eton would have 50% of its intake kids from Slough on free places)" and "The idea of defining community by ethnicity is fundamentally racist".

Who do you think you're kidding, Mr. Hitler? You don't fool me and nor will you fool the great British public into thinking you are some kind of socialist. I'm sure you will give up this ridiculous strategy soon and revert to stereotype, before decent folk get really confused and, God forbid, you start to become more popular.


A soft socialist said...

What have manchester labour students done?

Luke Akehurst said...

What have manchester labour students done?

Well, at least you haven't been responsible for hanging anyone under Blackfriars Bridge. I find it hard getting anyone in Hackney to take me seriously, so I think of you and your cohort as my "little army". Even Cromwell had to start somewhere. Today - you and El Tom. Tomorrow - Ireland!

A soft socialist said...

Right, well obviously residing in Manchester we have nothing to do with Hackney.

El Tom is a democratic socialist so why would he agree with a single policy that Luke puts forward?

Edna Gribbins said...

Well, I'm with you young man, even if the students aren't. Flog 'em all and then send them back where they came from, I say. Better still, send the Israeli Defence Forces into Poland. That'll stop them all coming over here and taking our jobs as builders, decorators and dentists.

El Tom said...

hehe. I like luke's blog because it reminds me why I'm not like him.

So do you.


Luke Akehurst said...

I like luke's blog because it reminds me why I'm not like him.

Well it's fine for you and your little student loan up there with nothing to worry about except Mancunians. I have to live down here amongst the rubbish in Hackney. You have no idea how much I wanted to win the 2001 election and move to Aldershot.

El Tom said...


you should consider getting published...

Luke Akehurst said...

You should consider getting a degree!