Join the Blue Ribbon Online Free Speech Campaign
Fighting threats from Stalinists and Fascists to use court injunctions and physical violence to silence free speech
The working class can kiss my arse, I've got the Councillor's job at last
The Luke Akehurst blog - The genuine Luke Akehurst weblog about politics, elections, the Labour Party and that ghastly Hackney place. Ignore counterfeit Luke Akehurst blogs - this is the genuine article from the chap who whips Hackney Labour councillors in his spare time.
Now with extra added ingredient Linda K Smith. Helps wash your family whiter!

"My favourite film is Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learnt To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb" - Luke Akehurst
"Funny and clever but not particularly nice" - Time Out
"With added foie gras, steak, soft cheese, claret and port (hic!)" - Luke Akehurst
"In gustatus perquam putidus est" - Vatican Bank
"Not so much 'Who's Who?' as 'Who's Sleeping With Whom?'" - Peter Mandelson
"You can judge a blogger's politics by the colour of their blog banner" - The spoof Luke Akehurst
"By a coalition of Trots, tree huggers, anarchists, Tories and a nasty little clique over-excited about my hair colour" - Luke Akehurst

Monday, September 11, 2006

Hackney Beauty


Showing at a cinema near you
An "Independent" Production


It was love at first contract

"I need a leader who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever a new councillor is elected. What a lame-o. Somebody really should put him out of his misery."

Julian is a 42-year-old man suffering from an ever-deepening mid-life crisis. His relationships with the women in his life are falling apart. His hair is falling out and he is rapidly turning to flab. His only remaining pleasure is jerking off in the shower.

Then, one day, his life is transformed. Invited to attend a committee meeting by his friend Geoff, Julian pops into the bathroom, only to discover that the facility is occupied by the gorgeous, pouting teen starlet, William. "What can I do for you?" asks William. "Would you like a plunge in the pool with me?"

"The pool's permanently closed", replies Julian, "but I was hoping you'd give me a bath instead. I'm very, very dirty."

The filthiest film in town - Time Out
This one will run and run and run and run and run - Hackney Groveller

Advertisement placed by BloggerSense, the automated advertising agency that services bloggers while you are away. Why have your regular browsers turn away to other sites? Why slip down the rankings in the blogosphere? You can keep attention and interest and stay high in the blog popularity lists by using BloggerSense - the on-line advertising agency for today's absent blogger!



Anonymous said...

Hackney is becoming the gun capital of Europe. There's always hope.

observer said...

Do I see a prick attached to the fading rose?

Will Shakespeare said...

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

My dearest Luke,

Forgive me if I'm a bit dim today but does this picture have any relevance to the fact that our ex-chair of Planning sub-committee and ex-Labour councillor (Andrew Hodgeson) is now purporting to be the "independent" representative on the Olympic Development Authority.

Furthermore, what would be the significance of his pose and why would he lay (or is that lie) in a bath of fading roses?

And who is that chap - getting intimate - on the left? He looks familiar.

Yours affectionately,


Luke Akehurst said...

Don't ask me, mate. I just subscribe to the advertising service and they post the stuff on my site. As for "that chap getting intimate" we've had quite enough of "the not very well disguised homophobia" on this site. They are genuine friends and business colleagues. Just two chaps who like to give eachother a helping hand.