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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Tough On Crime, Tough On More Crime

When Tony said he would be tough on crime, he stuck to his word. So far we've created 3,000 new crimes and passed 59 bills dealing with criminal offences. The Great Leader's final Queen's Speech today was dominated by security measures to cut crime still further and to tackle immigration and terrorism, with a whole clutch more laws to be introduced in the current session.

A great place to hear some cracking of whipsAn unfortunate side effect of all this is that so many Labour voters have been imprisoned under Tony's leadership that the policy itself has created a measurable swing to the Tories. It's a good job that the European Court of Human Rights ruled recently in favour of prisoners' being granted voting rights. In future we will be able to restore the balance by getting Party activists to canvass in Britain's jails.

Of course, not everyone will be able to take part in this. As Chief Whip I will be responsible for sorting out which Hackney Councillors will be sent to prison to argue the case for voting Labour.

So, I'd like to see Barry, Michael, Linda, Nargis, Rita, Clayeon, Angus, Guy, Sharon, Vincent and Patrick in my office first thing tomorrow morning. The rest of you can wait until I send for you.


Dick Grimble said...

That's it, young man. You lock them all up. That's why we voted for you. In the past I used to vote BNP, but now it's run by a cissy I think you lot are much more in line with my views. Can't we bring back flogging, as well? I'd like to volunteer to do some.

Anonymous said...

"Teflon" Sharon? Shome mishtake, shurely?

Luke Akehurst said...

Oh God, sorry, you are quite correct. I don't know how Sharon slipped in there. Come to think of it, I don't know how Sharon slips in anywhere.