Levy Waits For Bail

Can you imagine my shock earlier this morning when, fighting my way onto the bus, I spotted the following banner headline on a fellow commuter's newspaper: "Levy Waits For Bail". It was only a fleeting glance, as seconds later the crowd surged forward and the chap was forced to tuck the paper back into his briefcase.

Horrible images flashed across my mind. The wretched figure of Abe, crouched despairingly in the corner of a dingy cell, awaiting the visit that would signal the arrival of the Downing Street lawyers and the No. 10 cheque book.

The clock ticking relentlessly, but nobody turning up. The realisation slowly setting in that the stash of wonga was finally exhausted - that there was not a penny left in the Labour coffers to help dig a chap out of trouble at his time of greatest need.

I settled down at my desk a few minutes ago and surfed the web news for more details. Perhaps it was not too late for me to hold an office collection and dash down to Colindale Police Station with enough readies in a brown paper bag to secure his release. And then I found this.

I must learn to spell.