What Emailers, Police And Voters Seem To Want

Today has not been one of the greatest days in the history of our party.

It started with the ludicrous story about a secret, externally hosted email system being used in Downing Street for secure communications about, amongst other things, cash-for-honours. Despite No. 10's denials that any such system exists, the muckrakers are still putting it about that the secret "Whale Communications Secure Downing Street Email System" can be found here. Patently fanciful nonsense.

Then, later on, came the reports that Britain's Seniors Tour tennis coach, Abe "cashpoint" Levy, had been arrested for a second time. Whereas last time it was simply a misunderstanding about some minor financial matters, this time he has apparently been arrested on a charge of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice - a crime that carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.

As far as I can tell, this ridiculous charge is somehow connected with the absurd idea that that there is a secret "Whale Communications Secure Downing Street Email System" which can be found here, but which was kept secret from Yates of the Yard Wine Lodge.

And the day has ended with the publication of the latest opinion poll showing an 8 point drop in Labour popularity over the past month, with current voting intentions:

Tories	34%
Labour	29%
LibDem	21%

The real humiliation is that our support is now lower than at any time since Neil Pillock in the 1980s. Regular readers will know that I frequently refer to this dark age in Labour political history and make a big issue of the progress we have made since and the fact that we will never return to those miserable days.

My spoofster is truly rubbing it in, with a link on his blog to politicalbetting.com, which shows the following:

To Win The Next General Election

Tories	4/6
Labour	5/4
LibDem	100/1

Oh well, it could be worse. At least Emperor Ming and his LibDem losers are still showing longer odds than those against me winning this year's St. Leger.