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Sunday, January 28, 2007

Six Weird Things About Me

I can't see what's particularly weird about New LabourI've been "tagged" by a strange little man who's favourite films include "A Clockwork Orange", "Girl With a Pearl Earring" and "The Hunt for Red October", who I therefore presume may be prone to fantasize about kicking to death a woman with outsized mammary glands in the Petty Officer Room of a submarine. I wouldn't normally respond to such an invitation, but when it was drawn to my attention that by publishing this response I could increase Dave Cole's blogsite links on Technorati by 10%, I felt sorry for the little twat. I'm not sure that my Mancunian student friend El Tom will be overawed by Cole's adoption of the handle "El Dave", though. But I'm glad to see that this wannabe blogger has progressed from restaurant reviews to something resembling moderate Labour politics.

As a result of this "tagging", I have to list six weird things about me, so here they are:

  1. I bear an uncanny resemblance to a man who's name I have difficulty spelling - Genghis Khan (especially after he's had a shave and put his specs on).

  2. Over 45,000 people have logged onto my website but only 512 (1.1%) of them have made a comment. That means that 98.9% of all people who read what I have to say are so stunned by it that they are left speechless.

  3. Despite all the unkind comments I have made about my M.P. over the years, Diane was the first person to send me a Christmas card last month. Actually, she was the only person to send me a Christmas card.

  4. According to the statistics, quite a few referrals to my website result from people searching for the expression "foie gras". Not many of them appear to be residents of Chatham Ward Hackney, though.

  5. I often dream about foreign countries. I have a recurring nightmare that I've locked up the apartment in Cómpeta and flown home to Stansted from Andalucía while leaving the cooker switched on. Apart from Spain, I like to dream about Australia, Sweden, Canada and other countries with politically moderate ruling parties. I sometimes have nightmares in which hordes of people from Cuba, North Korea, Venezuela and Iran attack me with rolled up copies of The Morning Star.

  6. I love my wife and I'm faithful, monogamous and heterosexual. I try to encourage other Hackney Labour Councillors to follow my example, but an awful lot of them tell me where to poke my head.
Now I have to pass this on to some other people, apparently. So I choose Tony Blair (no - just kidding - there's absolutely nothing weird about him!) Jon Cruddas, Hazel Blears, Tom Watson, Chris Bryant and Siôn Simon. I suspect that each of these has a few weird attributes hidden in the closet and it will be jolly interesting to read them.

1 comment:

Jose Gonzales said...

My mother asking me to write to you in Ingles to telling you that you leaving the cooker switching on last time you are leaving the apartment next door. No worry because we have calling the guarda and they are breaking down the door and to switching off. Hello, nice New Years.