Hazel Says "Sshhh!" To The Students

Deputy PM candidate Hazel Blears was at Salford University today to officially launch the "Sshhh!" Campaign. The "Sshhh!" campaign aims to promote good relations between the student community and potential Labour voters. The campaign will raise awareness of the unreasonable anti-Iraq-war and anti-star-wars political views amongst the majority of the student population in her home town of Salford.

"Just keep your ugly mouths shut", says Miss Ginger Dynamite, "and we'll get a fourth term. If you make too much noise we'll end up with a return to Tory mis-government. And what will that bring us? Probably a Middle East war, a very expensive American nuclear missile system and a love-pact with the most right-wing, moronic US President in history. And we wouldn't want that, would we?

Hazel this week welcomed the Education For All initiative and called for all schools, teachers and pupils in Salford to "join the call for action to meet the 2015 Millennium Development Goal to ensure every child in the world has the opportunity to go to school."

Hazel said: "Today over 100 million children do not go to school - denied one of the most basic rights of all, the right to education. In Africa alone, two thirds of children never complete a primary education. Statistics show that for every additional year of a child’s education in the poorest countries, average earnings rise by 11 per cent. For each additional year of a mother’s education, childhood mortality is reduced by 8 per cent.

"Yet £10 billion a year – which works out to no more than the inflation on Labour's underestimates of the costs of staging the 2012 Olympics - could provide primary education for every child in every continent. I welcome the announcement by Gordon Brown and Hilary Benn and I am calling on our local schools, teachers and pupils in Salford to get involved and link up with schools across Africa so that together we can raise awareness and speak up for children who don’t get to go to school."

Hazel Blears is 50 going on 91, nice but stupid, and a hard-working and loyal solicitor with a fabulous head of ginger hair and an exemplary retro coiffeur stylist from 1983. "But at least my hair style is more modern than my brain style", she said.