It's A Real Drag

I was very disappointed to read this today.

On a totally unrelated subject and in response to certain questions that have been put to me recently, I would like it to be known that:

1. I only tried cannabis once or twice, and then only when egged on to do so by my chums in public school.



2. At the time of my "moment of madness" I was only 15 years old and I have since matured into an upright citizen and a leading local politician.



3. Whereas Squiffy Trubshawe, Bonker Smythe-Featherstonehaugh and Bendy Twigge were sent down, my offence was considered far less serious and I only received a caning and loss of tuck shop privileges.



4. I am looking forward to improving on my past performances at the next General Election with a big swing in my popularity at the polls.