The Budget

... was even better than I expected.

Just as every PM offers a substantial give-away just before they go to the country while protesting that the budget is part of a long term strategic economic plan, so Gordon wanted to achieve the same effect before placing himself before the Party for unelected enthronement.

Under Uncle Gordon, everybody is going to be better off, except those who drink, smoke and fly all the time. Comfortable, middle class families will be better off. Average working families will be better off. And - despite Tory and LibDem attacks and media comments to the contrary - poor childless families are going to be better off as well. All this talk about giving with one hand and clawing back with the other is utter nonsense. As is the absurdity that the budget once again benefits the better off more than it benefits the poor. It's a financial miracle. And it shows why Gordon will make the best Prime Minister this country has enjoyed since Tony Blair.

Try sticking different data into Pandora's box (otherwise known as the BBC/KPMG budget calculator) to see just how the sun is shining out of Gordon's posterior red box.

"Anyone earning between about £17,000 and £40,000 a year will be better off". Try putting in the following: Married man, 40, 2 children, £28,500 income, 1 pint of beer a day, no cigarettes, 1 EU flight a year, 1 old car, 103 litres lead-free fuel a week and you get... £0.23p a year better off!

"Those earning less than about £17,000 will lose from the abolition of the 10p tax rate but they should more than claw it back from working tax credit". Try this data: Single woman, 30, no children, £12,000 income, 1 glass wine a day, no cigarettes, no flights, 1 old car, 67 litres lead-free fuel a week and you get... £0.35p a year better off!

"Those on £43,000 will pay £20 a year more in tax". Try this data: Married man, 50, 3 children, £43,000 income, 1 pint of beer a day, no cigarettes, 1 long-haul flight, 1 new Band B car, 50 litres lead-free fuel a week and you get... £204.35p a year better off!

Macaroon should be feeling very sick this morning. But he'll probably feel a lot better when he puts his own data into the calculator. I've just given it a shot based on what I know of his personal circumstances, and I reckon he'll be about £250 p.a. better off. Not enough for him to buy one of these, but plenty enough to buy at least two of these.