Great News From You, Guv!

Regular readers will be aware that I tendered my resignation as Chief Whip last Thursday, in the face of the 'Parkergate' revelations. This followed the resignation of Councillor Parker from the Planning SubCommittee after an independent review board found that he had failed to declare a personal and prejudicial interest when casting the deciding vote for demolition of some of Hackney's most historically important buildings in order to build yuppie skyscrapers at Dalston.

My offer to resign was due partly to the fact that it was me who recommended Councillor Parker's appointment to the Planning Committee in the first place, despite his employment with the Commission for Architecture and the Built Environment (CABE) who have a strong interest in the Dalston development and many other projects requiring planning approval. And in part it was due to my mistake in continuing to express adamant support for him after the conflict of interests became known.

This morning I can reveal the great news that my resignation has not been accepted. I'm not at liberty to publish the full letter, but the appropriate text reads: "After all, the Prime Minister didn't resign despite many instances generally considered to have been far more severe in their implications than this relatively trivial affair. At a time like this it is more important than ever that we stick closely together and do not allow the New Labour Project to be derailed. Parker can take the full blame."

So I'm feeling as pleased as Paul Potts. And just like him I'm pretending to be completely innocent and shocked by it all. I'd like to thank my PR team, my financial backers, my TV production company, my record label and Luciano Pavarotti for having prepared me for this moment of triumph. The Chief Whip is back whipping! Vive le Chef d'Alignement Politique!