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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

A Prison Mugshot Nightmare

Jules Hilton opted to show up at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, about five miles from Los Angeles, earlier than expected her to start her prison term.

Jules dons "Guantanamo Bay" dressThe all-female jail is pretty tough by the standards of women's facilities, but Hilton will be housed in the section of the prison reserved for "special needs" prisoners such as celebrities, police officers and local authority elected officials, who could be singled out and face danger because of their special status if mixed with the prison peasantry.

Hilton had spent her Sunday afternoon at the MTV Movie Awards before surrendering early to start her jail term. Donning a stunning orange backless dress on the pink carpet yesterday, she stopped to tell reporters how she felt about the upcoming jail term, telling journalists: "I'm ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and Labour Councillors to support me and that's really helpful."

Admitting that she was frightened, Mayor Jules Hilton traded in her Guccis and designer clothes for regulation "Guantanamo Bay" style orange jail garb in preparation for serving her 23-day sentence. "I'm really scared but I'm ready to do this," the glamorous socialite Mayor told The Hackney Groveller.

"And I hope that I'm an example to other young people", she added, playing down her encroaching middle age. "During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes", she added in a statement released by her lawyer, Lord Silversmith of Clapton Pond.

And at that point my alarm clock rang so loudly that it fell off the bedside table and I woke up in a cold sweat. I clung tightly to Linda, my sense of relief palpable as it gradually dawned on me that it had all been a horrible nightmare. Thank God, Julian and I are both OK. I must lay off the crème de menthe - especially after too much foie gras and claret. And I really must stop watching MTV.

1 comment:

Ingrid Polansky said...

We're all dying to know whether Jules has received his "Easter surprise" yet. Do tell. Has the DPP decided to deliver it yet, or is Pipeshaft still covered by a warm blanket of Government immunity?