"Mr. None" Selected

Virendra Sharma, the man with the spartan register of members' interests, has been selected as Labour's candidate for the Ealing Southall by-election.

Thank God for that. For a horrible time there I thought the CLP might vote for Mr. Ricin and thereby create a spin nightmare even for PR professionals such as myself.

Well done to the CLP members and congratulations to Councillor Sonika "I am the best person for the job" Nirwal for being so magnanimous in praising Councillor Sharma in a warm and loving manner of the kind I haven't seen since the late Anna Nicole Smith lavishly praised her new husband, the late J. Howard Marshall.

If you are Labour and live closer to Southall than to Sedgefield, get on down there and get campaigning - it's only two weeks to Polling Day! But please do not make any false statements about any of the other candidates while you are there, unless you want to end up sharing a nice concrete bunk bed with Thicko Watson.