Inviting The Home Secretary To Dinner

I was more than a bit embarrassed to read about Wor Jacqui's fears of walking the streets of Hackney. You'd have thought that she would have a bit more trust in the large team of burly police officers assigned to protect her on a round-the-clock basis.

But I was delighted to see my good friend and personal bodyguard Diane Portillo leap to the defence of our fine Borough.

Suggesting that the Home Secretary had acquired her knowledge of the streets from Hogarth's engravings of crime-ridden Georgian London, the MP for Hackney North & Stokie is reported as saying:

"Jacqui is quite wrong to suggest that Hackney is a no-go area for women after dark. She is feeding a culture of fear which is bad for our many bars, restaurants, art galleries and other entertainment venues. Comments like hers make women unnecessarily fearful. Jackie needs to get to know inner-city London. She will find it is not the nightmarish scene that she seems to imagine."

Well said, Diane. I'm with you. I've never had any fear of walking the streets of Hackney. As for Wor Jacqui - hoof it round to Flat 1, 8 Beatty Road, Stoke Newington, N16 8EB for dinner next Saturday night. Linda will happily knock something up for you and I'll pop round to "Best Turkish Kebab" on Stoke Newington Road to get some take-aways for your Special Branch protection team and to Dunkin' Donuts to get a large bucket family bonanza for your team of SpAds.