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Monday, March 17, 2008

A Painful Start To Campaigning

It doesn't hurt, honestThe Mayoral and GLA election campaign is well and truly under way.

I'm now nursing extensive bruising as a result of being attacked by rabid morons wielding sticks and rubber hoses and shouting "Boris for Mayor". God, why did I have to represent the unemployed under-class ward of Chatham? Why couldn't I have represented trendy Clissold instead, where people would wave their bicycle pumps and pot plants at me and shout "More degradable recycling bags, NOW!"

I can't possibly tell the truth about yesterday, so I think I'll tell people that I slipped and fell down a set of concrete steps on the way to stick a Ken for Mayor newspaper through a basement flat door. That will make me look less of a prick.

Bloody hell, politics is a risky business!


Friend of Gowing said...

Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don’t often make jokes.

Anonymous said...

Have you seen some of the houses in Homerton? Hardly underclass by Cassland Gardens

Luke Akehurst said...

Did you post on the wrong blog by mistake, Friend of Gowing? I have absolutely no idea what your comment means.

Friend of Cummings said...

I always knew you were badly educated, Akehurst. You should read more.

Luke Akehurst said...

I asked some better educated friends and they tell me that you are characters in Diary of A Nobody by George Grossmith, originally serialised in Punch magazine in 1888-9. I wasn't born then, so have an excuse for not knowing who you are.