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Friday, June 30, 2006

I Support...

I have received various hostile comments from posters, but I soak them up like a blancmange. I thought I'd save all the posters some time by just listing all the things I really support and they really hate, so they can just reply with one stream of venom. Here goes. I support:


That should give you all plenty to get your teeth into...

Someone very special to me
Me and George
Someone else very special to me
Me and brushie-wushie


iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

Dear Mr Akehurst,
Your posing for a photograph with the great founder of EasyJet and EasyLay prompts me to ask:
As you are from the moderately right wing of the Labour Party, (similar to, say, Mr Mandelson) do you adopt any particular position on homosexuality and "greek love"?
Also do you see our colleagues, who are perhaps struggling with their sexuality, as any sort of risk to the stability to our great Party?
Happy Europride day!
Yours, fondly,

Luke Akehurst said...

My choice of pictures was merely designed to illustrate the concept of getting one's teeth into something, as per the line above.

It is my job as Chief Whip to ensure that none of my colleagues are any sort of threat to the greater good of the Party. In this role I make sure that any loose canons remain tightly closeted.

And please do not refer to me as "moderately right wing". There is nothing moderate about my right wing views.

Anonymous said...

loose canons

Are you suggesting free love among the clergy, Cllr Akehurst?

Is nothing sacred in Hackney anymore?

Luke Akehurst said...

I try to focus on the important political issues in my life, specifically: the Labour Party, Tony Blair, the Hackney Labour Party, Hackney Council, Jules Pipe, the UK, the USA, NATO, the State of Israel, Australia, the Australian Labor Party, the New South Wales Right faction, Labour First, the Labour Campaign for Electoral Reform, the EU, Sweden and its Social Democratic Party, nuclear deterrence, the liberation of Iraq, our police, security services and armed forces, nuclear power, an elected House of Lords, directly elected Mayors, a Controlled Parking Zone for Clifden Road, ASBOs, ALMOs and new security doors on estates - and all you can talk about is gay free love amongst the clergy.

I already have enough trouble trying to keep a lid on Hackney Council's pots without having to put up with snidey little insinuations from creepy-crawlies like you.

Go away, before I set the police, NATO and Jules Pipe onto you.

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

Dear Cllr Akehurst,
I guess it was just a typing error by your secretary that caused there to be an omission of any reference to Amnesty International, the civil rights movements plus the many campaigns fighting the oppression suffered by people due to racism, homophobia, sexism, etc.

Also, a friend asks if Hackney Labour is made up of "nice people". I feel that, apart from the alcoholics (and their enablers), closet queens, sexoholics (and their enablers), litigious bigots, religious fanatics and temper-tantrum queens, we are quite a nice bunch of people. Would you agree? And if you don't, do you think we should still put forward (to the masses) a united image of one happy group of people?
Yours, very fondly,

Luke Akehurst said...

I don't have a "secretary" and I resent your sexist implication in claiming that I do. Linda does my typing.