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Friday, June 30, 2006

"Loony" Responsible For Labour Defeat

A Hope, Official Monster Raving Loony candidate
Not A. Hope
The iLikeAkehurstfanClub has demanded an answer to the questions: "How do we explain last night's defeat in Wales? Whose fault do you think it was?" (see their comment in response to PR Ploy Goes Squiffy, Dammit!)

It doesn't take a genius to see why Owen Smith was unsuccessful in his attempt to win back the Blaenau Gwent seat from the Independents last night, despite taking my PR advice to fool the Welsh peasants by pretending to be less of a Tony man and more of a Gordon supporter.

Take a look at the list of candidates: Rivals' Glee At Labour Poll Loss (click on "See also Blaenau Gwent election candidates"). Now look at the candidates who stood in Aldershot in the 2001 General Election when I represented Labour and suffered a similar tragically ignominious defeat Results & Constituencies - Aldershot. The two elections have one thing in common. In both cases a certain "Alan Hope" stood as a candidate for the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. Clearly this man is responsible for both defeats.

I don't know how he did it, but I intend to launch an internal inquiry within the Labour Party. We will either track him down and discover his election manipulation secret or, failing that, produce a report accusing him of housing benefit fraud, running a brothel and standing for election while disqualified as a bankrupt.


xianfu said...

I dont know how to explain the defeat.. lolz.. wat a lovely blog here... visit my blog and tell me wat do u think about it InvernoKL keep up all the good works.. rocKZ!! :p take care, xian

Luke Akehurst said...

Maybe your not knowing how to explain Labour's defeat in Blaenau Gwent has something to do with you being a Malaysian schoolboy whose favourite sources of political information are The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia.

On the positive side, however, perhaps you would like to stand as the official Labour candidate in the Hackney Mayoral contest due shortly after Julian's resignation. Your cultural interests should equip you well in this role.