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Thursday, June 29, 2006

PR Ploy Goes Squiffy, Dammit!

News of design faults shocks the nationI have to admit that my PR ploy to blame Hackney LibDems for the rise of fascism across Europe (see All Set For Visit Of British Nudists) has gone a bit squiffy. Readers of this blog will remember that the strategy was to knock news of the BNP's planned visit to Hackney Council off the front page of 'The Hackney Groveller' and replace it with a great story about sensible speeches by Tony and Gordon.

'The Groveller' can usually be trusted to do the right thing, especially when I remind Ferris Bueller how much advertising money Hackney Council spends with his grotty little rag every month. But this time they've gone too far. The whole front page is covered with muck-raking nonsense about the Clissold Leisure Centre budget, which they refer to as a "fiasco". Judging from the style and content of the article, Ferris Bueller is probably the man behind this scurrilous website: Not The Clissold Leisure Centre which prattles on endlessly about the poor deprived swimmers of Stoke Newington.

The only good thing to come out of all this is that the verbose comrades at Not The Clissold Leisure Centre will now get back to talking about swimming pools and stop their snidey little comments about Mayor Jules Pipe's clothing closets.

See Jules Pipe's 'Closet Point' - Page 894


Otis B Driftwood said...

Don't worry, Luke. There are some positive sides to all this. It gives all of us philanthropists an opportunity to divest ourselves of some of our excess fluidity to a good cause. Eventually I may even take a little splash there myself and have a good rub down in one of the changing closets. Better than donating everything to Bill Gates!

iLikeAkehurstfanClub said...

Dear Mr Akehurst,

You often refer to your "pro-PR stance". 'cuse my ignorance but, what with you being a politician and all that . . . does PR stand for proportional representation or what?

P.S. How do we explain last night's defeat in Wales. Whose fault do you think it was?

P.P.S. Who ate all the pies?

Luke Akehurst said...

The iLikeAkehurstfanClub will have to get it's act together if it is to keep up with me and current affairs. Perhaps it would be better to wait until after school before sending in your comments.

PR stands for "perfidious remodelling", but some people call it "public relations". As the former sounds like something one might do to Kate Moss and the latter sounds like something from which one might contract some awful plebian disease, I prefer the straight-forward "phony reconstruction" myself.

Don't mention that other phrase prop..... It makes me see yellow and when I see yellow I get very very mad!

Luke Akehurst said...

I must apologise to the iLikeAkehurstfanClub for misunderstanding your comment earlier.

I thought you meant my pro-PR stance as in coming up with a good reason why the occupants of the depressed post-industrial valleys towns of Blaenau Gwent, afflicted by unemployment, ill-health and drugs did not vote for Owen Smith who could at least have sorted out one of their problems for them wearing his other hat as a political lobbyist for a US drugs conglomerate.

Now I realise that you are referring to my support for proportional representation and other reforms advocated by The Labour Campaign for Electoral Reform of which I have been an active supporter for many years.

Although PR was invented by loony utopian socialist Victor Considérant, it was an idea that was developed by me until it was stolen by the sleazebag Thorpe in 1974 when I was one year old.

That is the reason why I often see yellow and go into an uncontrollable rage when the subject of PR is raised, even though I am actually in support of it. Does that make sense to you?