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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Closer To Home

It's enough to make a chap vote Tory
Frustrated swimmer waits for Clissold Pool to re-open
Several posters have reminded me that in my capacity as a Hackney councillor and Labour Group Chief Whip I’m supposed to pay some attention closer to home, whereas I’ve been a bit focused on national conferences, neighbouring boroughs, letters to The Guardian and tired old Labour has-beens. I’ve also been unfairly criticised for my lack of attention to linguistic detail on issues of equality and diversity. So, me old muckers, let’s take a butcher’s at what’s happenin’ in da hood, already, innit?

Last week I was well peed off with 'The Groveller' splashing the Clissold Leisure Centre all over the front page. Still, at least that’s one more splash than any of the members of the Stoke Newington Anarchist Swimming Club are going to get! By the way, I have it on good authority that there is definitely not going to be another major shock revelation about the "budget fiasco" coming shortly.

Not satisfied with last week’s efforts, the subversive Ferris Bueller filled a large chunk of two whole pages with letters from Marxist agitator John Field and failed Tory council/mayoral candidate Andrew Boff, bemoaning "incompetence" and "failed promises" and blaming it all on Jules.

Still, at least Ferris has filled this week’s front page with news of the death of Lenny Smith, so attention can be diverted away from the distracting issues of swimming pools and budget overspends and focused instead on sex, crime and Mark Trotter.


iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

Dear Cllr Akehurst (or may I call you Luke? I feel I know you so well.)

I'm a bit concerned about Di Abbott's piece in Digger's The Times today. She refers to our PLP's Chief Whip as "Jacqui the Dominatrix" and suggests that: "at the heart of the new disciplinary system will be the culture of anonymous denunciation that flourishes in some parts of the Parliamentary Labour Party."

You are already facing so many unwarranted attacks against your person, I am concerned for your welfare. I do so hope you won't openly adopt any of the tactics that nasty Commie Di Abbott is insinuating we might take on.

I think she is bordering on being sarcastic when she observes: "Above all, most MP’s live in hope of a job in government. So many an MP has voted against his or her dearest principles in the hope of elevation to the dizzy heights of Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for Deckchairs." How very DARE she!

I'm sure you can reassure me and the other Hackney voters who avidly read your blog that you would never provide such benefits to induce Labour councillors to vote against their principles?

Yours affectionately,


Luke Akehurst said...

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said... "I'm a bit concerned about Di Abbott's piece in Digger's The Times today."

I presume you were referring to the article to be found at:,,6-2262980,00.html

Clearly Diane is coming round to my point of view. Perhaps it is a fit of pique as a result of her "best friend" Denzil Xavier being invited to attend the Labour Progress Annual Conference this year.

Emily Snodgrass said...

iLikeAkehurstFanClub - How can you possibly call that Diane Abbott a Communist? I'm sure I read somewhere that she sends her kids to Eton.

Luke Akehurst said...

We all have to be pragmatic at times and the MP for Stoke Newington & Hackney North is no exception. I don't agree with much of Diane Abbott's politics but on a personal level I get on OK with her. In any case she was very helpful to me when I needed to register Augustus for a school place in 2016.

Luke Akehurst said...

iLikeAkehurstFanClub - Sorry, I was so obsessed with Princess Di that I missed the salient point of your message: I'm sure you can reassure me and the other Hackney voters who avidly read your blog that you would never provide such benefits to induce Labour councillors to vote against their principles?

I'm not sure what you mean by "vote against their principles", but I can certainly reassure you that no money has ever changed hands when it comes to voting. I just tell them which way to vote and they do it.

Even if I did want to sugar the old pills a bit it would be a tad difficult right now because the contingency fund is running a bit low due to our having made a very generous donation to Swimming Pool Aid.