Closer To Home

Frustrated swimmer waits for Clissold Pool to re-open

Several posters have reminded me that in my capacity as a Hackney councillor and Labour Group Chief Whip I’m supposed to pay some attention closer to home, whereas I’ve been a bit focused on national conferences, neighbouring boroughs, letters to The Guardian and tired old Labour has-beens. I’ve also been unfairly criticised for my lack of attention to linguistic detail on issues of equality and diversity. So, me old muckers, let’s take a butcher’s at what’s happenin’ in da hood, already, innit? Last week I was well peed off with 'The Groveller' splashing the Clissold Leisure Centre all over the front page. Still, at least that’s one more splash than any of the members of the Stoke Newington Anarchist Swimming Club are going to get! By the way, I have it on good authority that there is definitely not going to be another major shock revelation about the "budget fiasco" coming shortly. Not satisfied with last week’s efforts, the subversive Ferris Bueller filled a large chunk of two whole pages with letters from Marxist agitator John Field and failed Tory council/mayoral candidate Andrew Boff, bemoaning "incompetence" and "failed promises" and blaming it all on Jules.

Still, at least Ferris has filled this week’s front page with news of the death of Lenny Smith, so attention can be diverted away from the distracting issues of swimming pools and budget overspends and focused instead on sex, crime and Mark Trotter.