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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Attack, Attack, Attack The Yellow Peril!

Tories are foul, but LibDems are worseIf you want to take votes off the Lib Dems, the way to do it is to attack them, not try to position yourself closer to them.

Earlier in the summer I explained to my adoring fans just why I hate the bastards so much.

To repeat my earlier argument, one can strike tactical deals with Tories and sometimes even longer-term strategic deals such as the inter-war National Government.

The bloody LibDems, on the other hand, greet you with one hand and stab you in the back with the other one. This is all obvious to anyone who has encountered the LibDems' vile behaviour in local government and the constant anti-Labour sniping of Lib Dem MPs.

Anyone who wants to know how to deal with the LibDems should refer to "Beating the Liberals", my masterwork from 1998. The Trotskyist, tree-hugging BBC reported at the time that the briefing paper was written by "a senior Lambeth Labour councillor", but of course it was drafted by Linda and me. And it bloody well worked!


A BBC Legal Dept Spokesperson said...

Does this mean you've withdrawn the injunction and we are free to name you?

Luke Akehurst said...

I don't do injunctions - disapprove of resorting to the capitalist courts.

My memory was the author was Dave Salisbury-Jones.

iLikeAkehurstFanClub said...

My dearest Luke,

Those vile people from BBC TV Newsnight claimed: "Labour says the report is the work of a junior researcher and was never used." To be slurred like that ... "junior researcher" indeed. Can't you sue for defamation of character?

Yours adoringly,


P.S. How soon before you publish the next edition?

Luke Akehurst said...

Typical of my spoofster - trying to put me down by giving someone else the credit for my excellent work. Sit down all of you - none of you are Spartacus - I am. I did it. I wrote the brief. Claim otherwise and I'll sue you in the capitalist courts.

Luke Akehurst said...

Especially when you try to blame poor Dave Salisbury-Jones, a chap who just like me was tipped to overturn a Tory majority (in Uxbridge) in 2001 and just like me failed to achieve it. If you are going to blame someone, at least have the decency to blame a success.

Andrea said...

"Especially when you try to blame poor Dave Salisbury-Jones, a chap who just like me was tipped to overturn a Tory majority (in Uxbridge) in 2001 and just like me failed to achieve it. If you are going to blame someone, at least have the decency to blame a success. "

but he wrote a book to defeat the Libdems, not the tories.

Luke Akehurst said...

OK - I admit it, I've perpetrated a terminological inexactitude.

Salisbury-Jones did write the paper, but I circulated it around Hackney Labour Group and I like to claim it as my own work as I really wish I'd written it.

As for poor old Salisbury-Jones targeting of the LibDems, they were never in contention in Uxbridge so it was a bit of a case of p*****g in the wind.

The result was:

Randall Conservative 15,751
Salisbury Jones Labour 13,653
Royce LibDem 3,426
Cannons UKIP 588

If I could find any LibDems I would attack them. But as I said in a previous posting about the pointlessness of this: "it could be because there are none left in Hackney (OK 3) after my efforts in the last 2 sets of elections."

Lord London Fields Lido said...

Luke Akehgurst as political genius? Seen as you and your neo-Blairite colleagues on Hackney Council couldn't run a piss up in a brewery without it being delivered nine months late and £14 million over budget, I'd be more worried about the possibility of the voters finally snapping and voting for a party that actualy serves their views - anti-Blair, anti-quasi-anti-Islamic-fascism (ahem) and pro tolerance and pro environment. When Brian Sedgemore leaves the Labour party, there's big trouble ahead - it may just take Hackney longer than elsewhere to realise.

Once upon a time, the Labour party had principles, even if it was a little authoritarian. Unfortunately, the authoritarian side won, be it Tony Blair, Charles Clark or for that matter lovely Mr Pipe leaving those principles rejected in a pique of Thatcherism.

If you have so many principles, go it alone and become an independent voice for your ward. Then you still have a cat in hell's chance of remaining on the council in four years.