Nargis Khan Tackles Terrapin Terrorists

Hackney journalist, serial procreator and general rabble-rouser Dave Hill has been reporting that my fellow Labour Councillor Nargis Khan (see blogs passim Right-Minded People Don't Read 'The Groveller', I Steal "The Big Idea") has "invaded Thought For The Day with her condescending manner, excruciating egomania and Christian Right message thinly disguised as a religious reflection."

This is utter nonsense and typical of the Trotskyist slander that is being shovelled out by Stoke Newington Tory scribblers and Guardian journalists. The reality is that Councillor Khan has launched her first initiative under the auspices of The Commission On Making Turtles Just Like Us not as an act of maverick political lunacy but as part of a concerted and focused Hackney Labour Group campaign.

Nargis is spearheading our efforts to defeat the current spate of amphibious carnivorous terrorist attacks in Clissold Park - already home to countless tree-huggers, anarchists, frustrated swimmers and other local loonies. In a move accidentally timed to coincide with a spate of bad news for the party, she told the press: "This is a very good day to bury this threat".

Drawing on the not insubstantial PR skills of her Labour Group colleagues, Nargis has been featured on Radio 4's Today Programme and Vanessa Feltz Weekdays on BBC London and is planning forthcoming appearances on "Blue Peter" and "The Chris Evans Radio Show". Her choice of a Christian reflection on "Thought For The Day" was, of course, a sensible way to show her balanced views in the wake of malicious questions that have been raised about Britain's leading wannabe First Muslim MP finding employment with one of the House of Lords' most prominent members of Labour Friends of Israel.