Scary Runnings

Anyone would have thought from reading this article in the Evening Standard that certain declared deputy leadership candidates are frightened by the idea that Hazel Blears might join the contest.

And well they might be. If she wasn't such an embarrassing candidate they wouldn't be trying to undermine her like this. Much as I like Hazel and admire many of her ideas, I can't help noticing the following comments currently proliferating on the web.

• "I can hear the howls of derision from certain quarters. Be good boys and listen to Teacher, who after all knows everything and is never wrong…. Well only 99% of the time."

• "This needs to stop. About the only thing Hazel Blears could persuade me to do right now is chase her across a field with one of these [a Turbo Power Water Shooter] filled with wasp pheromone."

• "She is a useless, personality lacking idiot who looks pathetic and is unamusing."

• "Factor in her rictus grin and habit of wobbling around in chair like a meerkat doing an impersonation of Stevie Wonder and I put it to you that the very last thing we need as deputy leader of the Labour Party is a demented ginger Weeble who speaks only pure weasel in public, least of all one who’s chief ‘blogging’ supporter looks like the failed outcome of a cloning experiment that involved the DNA of Chris Evans and Joe 90."

Oh my God! Do they mean me? Have I become Hazel's "chief blogging supporter"? I'm famous! To hell with Blears. Maybe I should stand as deputy leader myself.