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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Oh, No! Not The Beach Again!

This morning a group of Communist Party members disguised as pensioners and organised by local Tories took to the sea naked to protest against the government's decision to protect Northern Rock savers while failing to adequately compensate senior citizens who lost their company pensions when their employer went bust.

Mounted police tidy up the beach and fertilise the sandIf that wasn't bad enough, some cyclists disguised as pensioners and organised by the local UKIP branch got up very early and wrote "I want a referendum" on the beach outside the Bournemouth International Centre, causing us to dispatch a bunch of mounted police to trample them into the sand.

Now, you might think that anyone with half a brain would steer well clear of the beach. It's clearly a minefield. Metaphorically, at least. I don't think Al Qaeda have come up with a seafront bombing plot yet.

Neil and Deborah Kerr enjoy a little rough and tumbleBut if there was one plonker who was going to head straight for the sun, sand and kiss-me-quick hats it was going to be Kinnock.

It's a long time since 1983. I was only 11 at the time, but old enough to recognise a ginger-haired Labour Party leader making a total dong of himself. We've covered it all up since, of course. There's hardly a photograph of the original "Brighton Beach incident" left to be seen. And those that are left have been digitally enhanced to cover up Pillock's bald patch.

So, 24 years later and a great deal richer and more successful, what does Kinnock do? Sail past on a yacht? Sip champagne on a hotel balcony? No - he wanders back down to the beach again.

And the "pensioners" get him. "F**k off Kinnock, you f*****g traitor!" comes the cry. "You never did f**k all for us, just feathered your own nest. We don't f*****g want you down here. So f**k off!" Not the most erudite of political arguments, but not the best PR for Labour either. Oh dear, when will the silly b*****d learn?

NEIL, LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME CAREFULLY. STAY AWAY FROM THE FRIGGING BEACH!

6 comments:

wan kin (socialist) said...

I didn't realise that the making (or unmaking) of political statements was within the remit of the police authorities. When did their terms of reference change, do you know?

And where did the funding come from for the police to undertake this political act? Government, local tax payers or party funds? I think we should be told!

Not Happy said...

Luke did you hear about new Labour love birds Yvette Cooper and her husband - and Cabinet member - Ed Balls bagging a £600k new home in Stoke Newington with MP's expenses. Both earn £100k plus a year and sold their constituency home in Yorkshire (again bought with tax payers money) to fund their move. Apparentlt tehy wnated to move to a more up market area of London and put their kids in good local schools. Moved to the wrong place then didn't they.

Oh and your lard ass mate Diane Abbott spent over 3 grand on taxis! Whats wrong with public transport I ask you

Luke Akehurst said...

Wan Kin - I think you'll find this is another typical symptom of blue tongue disease. As in Maggie dispatching police to close the motorways to prevent NUM pickets from arriving at pits.

Not Happy - Don't knock my home village of Stokie. Like me, they can always move somewhere more respectable before their kids are old enough for secondary school.

Anonymous said...

Not happy- No the Balls haven't sold their house in Yorkshire, as they are claiming this is their main residence- hence why they can claim 30k in expenses for their so-called second home in Stokie. I think its very cruel to expect the young Balls-Coopers to travel every day from their main residence in Yorkshire to their new Stokie school...

Clear Hardly said...

OK - if Kneel Pillock must go down to the sea again he's fair game if he makes a complete canute of himself again. But why knock Ed & Yvette if they've moved to Stokie? Can you blame them, as keen swimmers, for wanting to live within walking distance of that icon of socialist health and efficiency on which no expense has been spared, namely Clissold Leisure Centre?

Luke Akehurst said...

And I thought I was a cynic!