Charlie Whelan - Why The Anagramatic Silence?

Richard Hannay en-route to Westminster

According to recent press releases, Charlie Whelan Spin Doctor (aha! clownish, leprotic nerd), Gordon Brown's "working class" PR advisor (atrophied chancellor wins!) and sometime BBC radio football pundit (raw, phallic, incoherent sod) has been appointed Political Director (what-ho! clinical poser nerd) of new super-union Unite, formed when the TGWU merged with my union Amicus (anachronistic, eh? we'll drop!). Whelan (shallow, rich, accident-prone) was forced to resign (lethal, chronic despair now) in 1999 after his friend, journalist Paul Routledge (swellhead on a chronic trip) leaked information to the press about the resignation of Peter Mandelson (a starchier, downhill ponce) when the scandal broke over the mortgage from Geoffrey Robinson (shallow, incorrect pinhead) for Mandelson's new house (phallic screwhead in or not?).

Having been universally condemned (he's low and necrophilic rat!), Whelan fled north across the border and over the Forth Bridge, to settle in the highlands village of Dulnain Bridge (sphincteral coward in hole). In contrast to the hectic Westminster village (scratched, inane whirlpool), Scotland offered Whelan (er... is hollow chap and cretin) fresh air, labrador walking and plenty of time to catch fish (schoolchildren eat in wrap). The once-famous spin doctor had become a recluse (a clownish, dirt-cheap loner). Now the wanderer has returned to lead (well-chosen, horrid captain) political thinking in Britain's biggest union. Unite certainly didn't get what it was looking for in its advert (wanted, phallic rhinoceros). A case of grossly overblown support for a diminutive prick (enhanced clitoral worship).

Charlie Whelan en-route to Scotland