I'm Looking Forward To A Great Swim (And A Glass Of Claret Afterwards)

So according to the irritating little LibDem website purportedly run by Hackney's frustrated swimmers, work to sort out the minor repair problems with Clissold Leisure Centre and make it fit for public use four years late and £34m £40m £50m over budget is now complete and the centre has been handed over to Greenwich Leisure Limited.

Now at last the bloody whingers can shut the f**k up. This minor difficulty has provided these subversives with an opportunity to rally disaffected, dysfunctional ingrates and other riff-raff in the Borough to oppose much of the great work that our Council and Mayor have been undertaking in the past four years on behalf of Hackney's residents.

It's been a bit like Al-Qaeda's professional brain-washers using the Iraq war to whip up naive Muslim youth.

Well, la guerre est fini! (That's French, by the way - I learnt it at public school). Nothing more can go wrong. And we won't be spending another penny (except in the centre's public toilets, of course, which were contracted under PFI and need to make a return on their design and development costs).

I can't wait to get my clothes off and dive in. I've always thought of myself as a bit of a big splash. I've put on a few pounds over the past four years, or at least that's what Linda tells me. If she's right, I'll shortly be able to make an even bigger splash around here. Why don't you come and join me? Come on in, as they say, the water's fine.