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Monday, July 02, 2007

Coming Soon To A CLP Near You

To her credit, Councillor Nargis Khan just doesn't give up.

New terrapin arrivals at Guantanamo BayJust a few months ago I was reporting that our very own member of the Government's "Commission for Making Terrapins Just Like Us" was heading off to contest the LibDem held seat of Manchester Withington. Now I can announce that, after just a short spell as a Government Commission member and personal assistant to Lord Young in the Upper House, Nargis has been nominated for selection for the ultra-safe seat of Bolton South East (Labour majority 36.5%). Purely by coincidence, this was a seat held a decade ago by a Labour member by the name of Young.

Despite recent setbacks, Labour can still proudly claim a large number of safe seats. So if this current exploration proves unfruitful, you can expect Nargis to be coming soon to a CLP near you.

Grovellerlink - helping the local paper to discover the news.


Anonymous said...

Is there any truth to the rumour that the lovely Nargis Khan was once a magician's assistant?

Luke Akehurst said...

Why, what did she (allegedly) make disappear?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps her height or lack of it can be put down to her being sawn in half and not put back together!

Anonymous said...

What makes me think that dear Nargis would be nodding in agreement?

Paul Daniels said...

As Tory supporter I would relish the thought of sawing the lovely Nargis Khan in half.

Anonymous said...

If rumours are true that she was magician's assistant she probably got sacked for being too fat to levitate!

The "Lovely" Nargis Khan said...

Well Luke I guess you are stuck with me for a while longer. I have suffered a double whammy, not only was I not selected to fight Bolton South East from whence I grew up but I lost to another Muslim woman, dashing my chances of becoming Britain's first Muslim MP.
Perhaps I should feed my craving for fame and start sewing the missing sequins and diamonte back on to my leotard, polishing my stilettos, straightening up my fishnets and go back to my previous job of being put in to boxes and being cut into even smaller pieces. So that I may become Britain's first Muslim TV magicians assistant or should that be magician's partner then I could truely describe myself as an MP!