That Resignation - You Heard It Here First!

No, not Lord Drayson who quit as Minister for Defence Equipment out of "frustration" with bureaucracy and lack of money in the wake of yesterday's inquest verdict of unlawful killing in the case of Fusilier Gordon Gentle. The soldier was found to have died as a result of the MOD's failure to issue patrols with a bomb-disabling device that was tucked away in a nearby logistics store. We're on a whip not to say anything about that, so I'll keep schtum on the subject.

Doug Ollerenshaw

It's no coincidence that I'm practising my Yiddish, because the resignation I'm talking about was that of "The Toryfather", Mario Puzo's very own Eric Ollerenshaw OBE, Hackney Conservative Group leader, Springfield Ward Councillor and man of many disguises whose decision to resign was announced right here in this pioneering blog three weeks ago in a global exclusive. Don't let anyone tell you that I don't share information with my readers. And certainly don't listen to any rubbish such as "Hackney Town Hall was rocked by the sudden resignation from the council of Tory Group Leader Eric Ollerenshaw OBE" - a nonsensical tabloid quotation that can be found in the pale imitation blog by the wretch who pathetically keeps pretending to be the Labour Group Chief Whip.

Eric has been a councillor for 17 years and led the Tories since the elevation of Joe "The Kosher Godfather" Lobenstein to the Mayoral chair in the mid '90s. The Tories in Hackney are not awash with talent so his departure leaves a bit of a gap for them. Rumour has it that, having been given a good kicking at the polling booths in 2006 (or should I say at the polling boxes in 2006, nudge-nudge, wink-wink) and by the Tory electorate in the 2007 London Mayoral candidature contest, we won't be seeing Hackney's Boffmeister standing as a replacement. Instead it's likely to be someone so newsworthy that they have no personal entry in Wikipedia and a Google news search on their name generates not a single hit - someone such as Harvey Odze or Maureen Middleton.

Kathleen Ollerenshaw

James Ollerenshaw

There's another reason why the Boffmeister won't be standing, of course, and that is his openly declared sexuality, no secret to most people in Hackney. Not an issue in itself in modern day Hackney, obviously, but a bit of a handicap when you are dependent on Hasidic votes as Sandi Simcha DuBowski discovered a few years ago. Eric, to his credit, always managed to stay on friendly terms with us even whilst enjoying a knockabout style of debating in the chamber. A smart man, he understood that trying to fight Labour was a futile exercise and chose instead to meet with his opponents on a regular basis and strike deals. For example, when Hackney was threatened with Government intervention if we did not appoint a stable leadership in 2000 and Millbank sent in what was then a secret hit squad, Eric did the right thing and worked with us to turf out the old Labour guard and get a grip on the place.

After a while, these "arrangements" became firmly consolidated into the fabric of the Borough. We didn't try too hard at election time in Eric's wards and we made sure that funds were made available and planning and other obstructions removed for schools and other amenities in the Tory wards. In exchange, they kept very schtum about certain irregularities and declined to raise various issues of impropriety elsewhere in the Borough. It was a sound political arrangement of benefit to us all and one that we will sadly miss now that Eric has decided to go home to Lancashire.

Adelaide Ollerenshaw

Jeff Ollerenshaw

As a result of Eric's long thought-out decision, there will have to be a council by-election in his Springfield Ward in Stamford Hill - a seat that Eric won by a mere 256 votes over the best Labour candidate in 2006 and by only 42 votes in the 2001 by-election (on better boundaries for the Tories) following that year's conviction of Tory Councillor Isaac Leibowitz and LibDem Councillor Zev Lieberman for pioneering the art of election fraud in the Borough. And presumably there will also be a by-election in Lordship Ward where Eric's partner is a Councillor, always assuming of course that he will be accompanying the old wheeler and dealer on the long trek north.

I shan't be paying much attention to these by-elections, despite the fact that I've been appointed election agent for them. In fact, none of us will be paying any attention to these by-elections for the reasons I've already made clear above. Both seats are part of the deal with the Tories and I can't see why Eric's resignation should upset the political apple-cart. The elections will certainly be uncompetitive and I'm damned sure I won't be letting them become disruptive of anyone's Xmas shopping, especially mine. And I definitely won't be blogging about the contests. Yawn!