A Taste Of Money

With a bit of luck it may not be too late. I've told the chaps at Weber Shandwick that I won't be in for the rest of the week, arranged for Linda to look after Augustus and I'm on my way to catch the 11.05 Virgin Trains Euston to Salford Central via Stockport. Why? Because Chipmunk may be in trouble - and that's a call for Lukerman!

There are tears in my eyes as I think about Hazel Blears - the vulnerable little urchin tottering down the cobbled streets of Salford alongside Rita Tushingham. And even more tears in my eyes as I think of Hazel on the receiving end of a vicious and sadistic tongue lashing from that bitch Dunwoody, who referred to Hazel as acting for "venal and personal reasons".

Chipmunk has received so much bad press without any justification. And to blame her for protesting posing for a photo opportunity outside Hope Hospital when her fellow Cabinet members were busy trying to close it is just plain ridiculous. What did people expect her to do? Be honest, support her own government and lose her parliamentary seat?

And that brings me back to my train journey. The battle for the new parliamentary seat following the merger of the three seats of Salford, Eccles and Worsley into the two new constituencies of Salford & Eccles and Worsley & Eccles South has begun and, as I reported over a year ago, Eccles MP Ian Stewart is taking her on.

The ballot papers have been issued to the local CLPs and the selection result will be announced on Saturday. So why am I heading up north to throw my not inconsiderable weight behind Mini-Mouth? Because according to some muckraking local Tory councillor, Chipmunk may not be reselected.

It's all complete rubbish, of course. I'm sure if I look hard enough I'll find some poisonous little LibDem rats crawling out from behind this stupid Tory. But I'm not taking any chances. If Chipmunk is in trouble, I'm the man to sort it.